Little Janggun

Life update! My partner and I have moved into our own apartment, and compared to where we lived before, this is a much healthier environment for us and we're a lot happier and more motivated! 
          
          I'm fairly busy with my job, but I'm hoping I can start getting back into writing on my days off. I'm fairly rusty in writing about agere, but while I haven't regressed much since my last update, I am healing my relationship with it. I hope to get a good idea of if/when I'll be able to start publishing stories again by August of this year. Until then, I'll be practicing writing new updates. 
          
          Here are some goals of mine, so you know what to look out for:
          
          I hope to continue Kpop Littleshots, and maybe even publish a new littleshots book that's entirely skz-centered.  It's something you guys have requested for a long time, but I felt obligated to focus on Kpop Littleshots and never made much progress with it. For a long time, I've wanted to create an actual book for you all: a multi-chapter story following a single plot, bobbing and weaving through the thick and thins of life and age regression. I don't know how I'm going to go about it yet, or if I'll even be able to, but that's the biggest goal I have.
          
          Anyways! I hope you're all doing well, and reading everyone's comments on my stories is always my favorite thing to do, and gives me motivation to work towards starting back up again. I miss our little community, and adding to it.

Update: 
          
          So, there's been a lot of talk about why I haven't been on here in so long, and if I'm okay. I'm perfectly fine, and safe <3 there's no need to worry.  If any of you want to keep in touch, I'm most active on my snapchat: baby_cubbie, and discord: messiambrandybuck#3160 (just lmk you're from here!) <3
          
          As for why I haven't been on here or updating? I've done a lot of self-reflecting, and there's actually an explanation aside from "college and life stuff is crazy". 
          
          I haven't really been able to regress for about a year. I've been struggling a bit longer than a year, maybe 18 months, but I accepted that I couldn't about a year ago. [Warning: potential triggering topic ahead, sexualization]
          The last caregiver I had was nice for a while, but the longer we talked, the sooner I realized that every time I regressed the conversation would turn sexual in nature. They apologized a lot for that, and even apologized in advance in case they "didn't notice", so I didn't realize it was as bad as it was for a while. This was detrimental to my regression, because I had to force myself to be big almost every time I was able to regress, or I'd have to deal with all that gross stuff while I was small (which is a big no-no). Because of this, my relationship with my regression now has a giant tear in it. It's like my mind has created a mental block from regressing as a defense mechanism, except the icky "cg" is gone, and I'm left to deal with trying to break it down on my own. 
          
          Unfortunately, that also heavily affects my writing, which is based off of my regression at its core. My wants, fantasies, and fears while in that headspace are often driving points for these chapters, and without that connection, I haven't been able to write about agere.
          
          So, as for your questions about when I'll update again: I have no idea. I wish I could write more chapters, but that's just not possible for me right now.

@binkygu miss you too :( I'm going relatively well, and hope things have been going well for you!

To those of you that I have on other social media: I know I haven't been on for a good couple of months, easily, and I'm so sorry. My Mum is basically breathing down my neck and I'm not allowed to have anything other than a Facebook account that she watches over. 
          
          I've been struggling a lot, and I miss you all so much it hurts. I'm currently having a hard night and wish I could talk to you guys, but since I can't I just want you to know that I haven't been choosing to ignore you, and I am so sorry.

Still on hiatus, however, if you're interested in the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit movies, dm @softbabybuns about it! He's considering making a one-shot book, and he likes the more underrated characters when it comes to fanfiction. (ie: merry, pip, etc.)

.:ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS - PART 1:.
          
          If you want any questions answered, just DM me, or comment: I want to clear up any confusion, and just let you get to know me better!
          
          This symbol  means the question covers a triggering/uncomfortable topic.
          
          ---
          Q: Where did you go? :(
          
          A: I've been very busy lately between school and trying to prepare for college, so I haven't been able to work on any new chapters the way I used to/would like to. I'm trying to, but they never work out. 
          ~ ~ ~
          Q: Are you on hiatus?
          
          A: For now, yes, I'll try to come back with more quality content as soon as I possibly can <3
          ---
          Q: I saw u changed your about and usrname, are u not genderfluid anymore?
          
          A: I did, and you're right, I don't identify with that anymore. I'm still figuring everything out, but as I learned to accept my new identity, I realized I was spending more time feeling/identifying as masculine than I was feeling/identifying as a female. I've had thoughts about being transmale/transmasculine for a few years now, so I think temporarily using the "genderfluid" label helped me smoothly shift into a mentality where I knew it was okay to be trans.
          ---
          Q: What fandoms are u in? (besides kpop hehehe)
          
          A: I'm in a lot of fandoms, but I've been rewatching the Lord of the Rings (LOTR) trilogy lately, and recently bought both that and The Hobbit trilogy. (other than that there's anime, spn, various bands/artists, etc.)
          ---
          Q: Are you ever worried about losing readers?
          
          A: Constantly. I know how hard as a reader it can be to have an author/story you enjoy being on hiatus, but as an author, I can't really control when I can publish content. :c
          ---
           
          
          Q: What's a weird thing you have dysphoria about?
          
          A: There was this fact I saw, where it said that MRI scans of trans people show that their brains/brainwaves match with their chosen gender more-so than their birth sex. So randomly throughout the day my dysphoria goes "Hey, I bet your brainwaves show you're really just a girl"  :'D

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, and happy holidays for those who don't! This has been a crazy year, to say the least, but I hope this holiday season can bring you some joy among theae difficult times! 
          
          Remember, the gifts arent what defines a good christmas!

@IAmMyMomsDaughter of course!

@IAmMyMomsDaughter its so pretty- 

If you want to talk to me outside of Wattpad, I have an agere account on twitter~! Its @babystayzen, and I'm a lot more active on there to relax, and talk with people in the community! 
          
          love you all, and thank you for you're endless support, it means so much to me <3