Trashcan’t

I LIIIIIIVEDDD

Update: crying

Holding the flashlight for my dad. Haha. Might cry.

Oh yeah, some more backstory. I should’ve had my dad go with me in the first place because when I was nine one of my dentists was going to pull one of my teeth but the office it was at wouldn’t allow the parents to go in the rooms with the kids. This place was huge and my mom and dad were in the back of the waiting room so they wouldn’t have been able to hear me if they wanted to. So I was sitting in there, scared as all hell, alone, and the dentist walks in. He doesn’t really say anything, doesn’t joke with me, doesn’t turn on music, nothing. He starts setting up the stuff and I had been doing pretty good keeping a hold on my panic until he set the fucking needle down and rearranged everything on the little table and walked out. After he walked out I was in the room alone for about 10 minutes before I. Lost. My. Shit. I squirmed, screamed and cried until some people came running in. I kicked an assistant and bit one of the dentists before a mom with three kids who was in the front of the waiting room went in had pushed everyone else aside and walked in. She took the biggest, fluffiest stuffy that her daughter had and handed it to me. She talked to me until I calmed down. Turns out she’s a therapist and has been MY therapist since a month after this event. Anyways, my parents had to pay $2700 for me to get surgery and I wasn’t allowed back at that dentists office. Aha. Whoops...

I GOT A TOOTH PULLED TODAY AND I BAWLED LIKE A BABY. So, a little bit of backstory, I’ve had a cavity for the past 4 1/2 years. It was one of those that didn’t really hurt unless you touched it. It didn’t do well with temperature changes either. I have anxiety and panic attacks and a little bit (a lot) of unresolved trauma and when I get my toenails cut (I can’t do it myself) the cracking noise fcks me up inside a little bit. As you can imagine, when you get a molar pulled, there’s a fcking lot of cracking noises. Loud ones. And a lot of pressure. And a needle. In my mouth. Where I can’t see it. So the dentists had to stop and I had to call my dad. He had to come sit on the floor beside the dentists chair and hold my hand while they pulled my tooth out. I cried. A lot. The dentists had to stop working four or five times. Thats with my phone playing music (background noise) from my favorite band (familiar comfort) sitting on my chest (the weight calms me down) with my dad holding my hand and letting me squeeze his. The third time the dentist stopped she let me sit up a little and hugged me until I caught my breath. She also said “You’re gonna have to quiet down a little or your sisters gonna come in here and beat us up.” To see if the joke would calm me down any. It didn’t really but it did help me breathe a little better. Also, I have asthma, so my it was NOT helping that situation any. The last time she pulled on my tooth and it came out I just sobbed for three or four minutes straight. She rinsed out my mouth and just let me sit there a minute. It took my dad five minutes to stop crying. So yeah, that was fun. Just thought y’all should know.

hahahahahahahahahaha I have adhd and can’t focus on my schoolwork at home and I didn’t tell my parents because my pride and ego are assholes, so instead of just asking for help my teacher had to email my dad, and now he’s on the way to go get my schoolwork from ALLLLLL of my teachers and ngl think I’m boutta get murked

I’ve seen a few of you comments and then I read your bio and I had to follow you

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I GOT A HUNDRED FOLLOWERSSSSS *lowkey internally screeching*

Aw I hope you enjoyed “The Eye”!

;)