Living Trashmouth

I'm in this server with these two people that I hate with every fiber of my being,
          Everything they do just pisses me off so much, just seeing their message at this point makes me want to kick them out.
          
          It's just this stupid feeling of, why do y'all have to ruin everything for me?
          And it's so genuinely just me nitpicking everything and being over draumatic and a bitch, but I fucking hate them with my entire soul and heart.
          
          And it's annoying too cause everyone else in the server loves them and praises them for their creativity and how much they do for the server and how amazing they are and it's just like, where was that when I was doing everything for the server? Why doesn't anyone speek that way about me? Why are y'all picking fucking favorites?
          
          Actually pisses me off, I hate these bitches.
          I don't even want to. I dont want to be filled with hate or jealousy, I just want to gave fun like everyone else, with everyone else.
          
          It's so annoying.

Is it bad that im getting better at dream beating people up.
          Like, you know how in dreams you cant really do things they way you want to and its really frustrating?
          Yeah well at some point I think I started specifically controlling those parts of my dreams so I actually can punch people when I want to, the way I want to.
          
          Cause its soooo embarrassing in a dream when you loose your temper and your punch is weak asf.

Erghhhhh I wish I was less mwntally illlll

Guys I get so overwhelmingly sewercidal before my period-
          It's actually kinda scary
          Cause I'll be chillin and then I'll just get a wave of "Everything is yoir faulttttttttt"

I actually just want to bang my head against the wall until nothing matters anymore

On Thanksgiving, I was sitting at a table with my childhood best friend, her sister, and my cousin's girlfriend's daughter. We were playing Chinese Checkers, and at some point, I saw my cousin looking at something at the front door of the house (where I was, I could see him because my back was against the wall, no one else could though).
          I saw he had my moms jacket, my initial thought was that he stole it from her but my family steals clothes from eachother all the time, so I decided to just joke about it.
          
          The following conversation occurred:
          
          "Hey, is that my moms sweatshirt?"
          "Ummm, no"
          "Yes it is, I want it back, I usually steal that one from her"
          "It's not her's, and you need to cut it out with your attitude, I'm seriously not in the mood today."
          
          He started walking out the door, I sat there for a second confused by the response given to me before remembering, oh yeah this guy is a druggie.
          My friend and her sister were across from me jaws dropped and the little girl was just sitting there, which is sad because I assume that means she's used to it at this point.
          
          I pulled myself back together, a little pissed off:
          
          "My attitude? Check your own attitude, I was just messing with you."
          "Yeah your attitude, stop being a bitch."
          "Excuse me? Listen to yourself and grow up. You're in your 20s talking to a teenager like that."
          
          He mumbled something and left, its kinda bleary in my memory cause it happened so fast.
          
          My aunt and her husband, all the while, were sutting there doing nothing. After he left, her husband decided that I. I. Was the one that needed to calm down.
          
          "Let's all just settle down"
          "Why are you telling me to settle down, tell your kid to"
          "He's not my kid"
          "And neither am I so stop trying to deal with me"
          
          And then we continued playing Chinese Checkers.
          Thanksgiving.

Ok first though, I just took the worst shit of my life, like my ass hurts
          Hole stretched.
          TF.
          
          Like I sat here clutching for dear LIFE.
          Omg.

BROOO THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING

////// IF YOU ARE MY EX BESTIE, DO NOT READ THIS.
          I know your ass is active sometimes but that aint gonna stop me from venting.
          AND I DON'T WANNA MAKE YOU FEEL WEIRD SO JUST GO AWAY IF YOU SO HAPPEN TO SEE THIS.
          
          
          
          Nah cause its moments like this I miss my ex best friend.
          We went through a lot together, didn't even talk about non of it. But I still miss them. A lot. 
          Like, in moments like these I could go to them and they would cheer me up without even trying to. 
          They knew everything about me, it's weird going around in the world when someone you USED to know knows everything about you and is just out there.
          
          It's also like. I can never fully let go I don't think. Cause everytime I think I've moved on or think I'm happy with where I'm at without them, there's always that thoyggt thats like "Text them, ask them why, become friends with them again"
          and it's like, I don't want to cause I want to respect them and I want them to be happy more than anything
          but at the same time, in a selfish way I do
          Because she was my best friend and I miss her
          And I will never have a friendship similar to the one me abd then had, it was just so obsurd in the subject matter 
          
          I just want to cry 
          I have so many questions to ask her about everything I'll never get to ask and I feel like I'll never get full closure
          
          But I do genuinely hope she's happy
          And I am genuinely proud of her
          And I do genuinely respect ger decision no matter what

AHHH I REACHED MY GOAL!!!
          I CAN MAKE A NEW ONE!!!!
          
          Which I already did a bit ago to motivate me but WOOOOOOO LETS GO ANYWAYS