LizzyBladestheSecond

I have almost 20 missing assignments that I won't even get credit for along with 3 weeks worth of Wattpad notifications to catch up on. ... I think we know which one I'm actually gonna focus on for the next few hours.

Can I just like- pet the stray cat? Possibly could be owned since it keeps going back to one specific house. I want to just like- make friends with one of the stray cats. At least once. Please???
          
          Note to future self: Make time to change the About section(I think that's what it's called) as it feels outdated. And you infodumped. Or, let yourself seem vulnerable by keeping it the way it is. Your decision.

Imagine not knowing how to hype a person up correctly in a way that'll hit them and being serious and thinking about your words and being honest while doing so-
          
          I mean, most likely overthinking whatever I did but like why do my own words make me *u n c o m f o r t a b l e*.
          
          Could also be because I don't take jokes or sarcasm well.
          
          What is this even about

Oliver you F*CK I want to hurt you so bad
          
          Maximilian sweetie, you're part of the problem, don't act innocent
          
          You other two. Um. I'm sorry for planning to make you suffer?
          
          Then you two- I know you kinda suck but also I have not even bothered touching you. And then you. You're the corruption in my mind. but also you're like the character torturing everyone else. I have no idea how I feel about you.

Like my mental state has dropped to the point where the only content I can consume is either normal or something only my sleep deprived gremlin brain at 3 AM can handle. Can your own brain brainwash you cause like mine feels like it's stuck on the spin cycle while also trying to be a functioning human being?

I want to know. I want to know why people think I'm a good person. I want to understand the feeling. But it would be pointless. And it frickin irritates me to no end, knowing I can't understand something that I think I'm familiar with.

I'm so frickin dumb. I was babysitting today(technically yesterday since it's 1:21 AM) and I was frickin stuttering to a kid who's not even 2 years old yet! I was frickin stuttering so badly! Like is this what people hear when I talk at school??? Just half the time I'm stuttering and probably not making sense???? Frickin crud why just why

Like I've officially reached my point in quarantine where I'm looking into the mirror and realizing I want social interaction.
          
          And then I stay up after midnight and think about how it would feel to sew my mouth shut since I either talk too much, not at all, or am too quiet. 
          
          But also I'm reading a really good story and I don't wanna stop yet.

I was thinking about name ideas and the name Emma popped into my head. If I name a character Emma, I'm gonna fall in love with her. Which is exactly why I'll make the MC be attracted to her for a short period of time. Welp.

I finally get why I really like one of the stories I'm reading. Okay, one, it's awesome in general and I love the writer's way of thinking with their past stories if that makes sense and stuff. Also the story includes dragons which is a bonus. But that story in particular would always make me have a feeling feeling that was different than other stories. And now I know that it was because it felt like I was watching a movie. Good pacing, good writing, good explanation of the settings without info dumping- It felt like a seeing a movie, or like seeing a blanket neatly placed on top of a bed.
          
          Also dragons, them writing about dragons in the world has me ecstatic it's too much for my head and I love it.
          
          And this has been your sporadic post of me just ranting about something that I remember thinking about 2 weeks ago-