Greetings, mortals. I am Loki, your King. Soon, I shall return to your Realm once more to show you that freedom is life's greatest lie. Until then, I shall conquer WATTPAD.

My not-brother Thor Odinson has been "kind" enough to equip me with a cellular telephone and access to wireless fidelity (commonly called wifi). The oaf never fathomed that I had such a group of willing minions awaiting me here.

I have come to gather my army. I shall not make the mistake of attacking Midgard again. Rather, I shall use HYDRA's method of gathering willing followers who have seen the truth I proclaim. (Fear not; HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. shall be the first two atrocities I purge from your Realm.)

Should you choose to follow my calling and kneel to me, I shall consider giving you your favorite celebrities as slaves once my reign is established.

You may refer to me as "Your Highness", "Your Majesty", "My Lord", or "My King". Do not be afraid to message me privately, or speak to me publicly on my messaging board. However, any particularly disturbing or disrespectful comments shall be responded to with reproof. I shall also not hesitate to speak against a "cyber-bully".

"Can you wipe out that much red?"

"It's not that I don't love our little talks, it's just...I don't love them."

"If it were easy, everyone would do it."

"Are you ever NOT going to fall for that?"