Fuck off

I actually have a discord to roleplay... (LonelyStar-Rps#8967) I DO NOT Roleplay all the time I Roleplay when I feel like roleplaying and when I don’t I log out and won’t get your messages. Just thought some of you may like to know

TikTok video: you lose your virginity to the most recent anime character in your camera roll
          
          Me: huh okay.... Let me go check what mine is- *sees picture of Illumi from HxH* oh no...

Hey guys I have the app again for the night I only really re-download when I’m bored and want to see if people messaged me. I’m sorry guys but I’m not active here...

I told that bastard exactly how I felt 
          
          “okay I’m gonna say this in as short and simple as I can. We. Arent. Friends. I’m sorry but we just aren’t. I can’t be comfortable around you and I’ll never trust you again and I don’t consider that friendship. You sexualized me and only wanted me, for sex. Say that’s not true all you want but that’s how your actions came out. I had to tell my mom about you man! I was happy and I told my mom like “hey someone’s interested in me” just to have to tell her “oh yeah he had second thoughts cause I wouldn’t have sex” 
          That’s fucking embarrassing for me
          You did nothing but drive me further into my fear of intimacy. Because all guys want me for is sex and smut and nudes and other shit like that. And I feel no remorse for you at all. And it sucks cause I honestly thought you were a cool person you seemed chill at first now if I ever see you in public I’ll feel sexualized and uncomfortable. So if you ever see me do yourself a favor and stay away from me
          I can’t just keep pretending we’re normal friends. Bye”
          
          If he really cared about me he wouldn’t have sexualized me, and he wouldn’t have had a second thought about being with me just cause I didn’t want sex 

This app is literally the worst but good for ranting I guess

My dms: *wanna roleplay, do you roleplay? are you active for roleplay? roleplay? Smut roleplay? Pokémon roleplay? 
          
          Me on my message board: I’m tired of people only wanting me for smut roleplay
          
          People: OMG CUT THOSE PEOPLE OUT, I love you, I’m you’re friend, here to talk if you need 
          
          Those same people: *doesn’t message me unless I’m roleplaying*
          
          I hate you all

Everyone on this app is just as bad. They don’t message you unless you’re roleplaying with them but then you rant about not having friends or being sad and suddenly they run to your side. Admit you only give a fuck about yourself. All you want from me is smut roleplay and fucking leave. I’m deleting this app anyways I really don’t give a single fuck about it

The hate that I’ve trained myself to recover from the worst pains imaginable, I hate that I notice within the first 5 messages of talking to someone I can tell if they’re nice or here for smut/sex. I hate that I have to live my life hating myself, hating my body, regretting my choices, feeling used, feeling abused, feeling like if I give someone sex that’s all they’ll ever want for me, feeling like I’ll get hurt..... that I can’t trust people. Meanwhile the MEN behind it all just go on about their holy day cause the world teaches them that behavior is okay....

You guys, I’ve already cut them out of my life but the effects of years of this treatment don’t change. I fear intimacy, and hate sex. And I can’t trust people anymore. The world took a trusting and loving person and ruined them time and time again. Hamza, Cody, Max, Frankie, Gavin, Miguel, Xave, and Clayton were all guys who only used me for nudes, And I only dated one of them. (Only sent nudes to a couple of them.....) and every time they took advantage of my hurting heart. 
          
          How can men live with them self manipulating girls to send nudes. They see a depressed girl and feed her kind words then ask for nudes, or they promise girls the world just for sex and suddenly they’re gone, or they give their own little bullshit sob stories boo hop just go kill yourself I don’t care at this point if you’re gonna threaten to do it every time I say no then go do it pussy 

Love how the guy who promised me the world. Said hed teach me to socialize and slowly ease me into intimacy, let me adjust at my own pace and give me pure love. Then had second thoughts cause he realized I wouldn’t be fucking him still DMs me randomly, like thirsty much asshole. You lost your fucking chance I don’t wanna date someone who looks like they by Xanax behind a little Ceasars at 3AM then drunk text girls asking to smash. Except you actually did drunk text me