this message may be offensive
Sometimes i wish i never met you
Sometimes i feel glad we no longer talk, all the shit we've went through and all the smiles or tears we shared felt like it was for nothing, but then i remember our calls and the pictures we shared, the things we talked about and how much we cared. Then i realize i do miss you, and i wish you never met me in return. I fucked you up and hurt you because you loved me but i couldn't love you, not because it was anything to do with you but with me. I just couldn't see myself dragging you through my shitty love, i adored you, you were like a rose and i a gardening sheer, i would've cut you from the stem if i let you love me. I regret the way i ended the thing we had and the care we shared, i truly did hurt you. I'm the biggest asshole out there. I hope you're doing well and i hope you're happier than when we were best friends. Your sadness broke me, i feel happier looking from outside in rather than being in with you, where i could fuck things up all over again, my thoughts and feelings are all over the place, I'm sure it's been over a year by now. Since the last time we spoke, hopefully you didn't get kidnapped on one of those stupid forest hikes of yours that always left me stressing, i guess I'm just rambling now for once huh mer mer? Fuck i really do miss you and your stupid man baby memes. God was i stupid or what. I don't think you'll ever see this seeing as you've been inactive for so long. Do i hope you see it? No cause you'd probably curse me away, and rightfully so, or worse forgive me. And i wouldn't be strong enough to walk away and forbid myself from hurting you again. I really really fucked up. And idk i feel like this is the only way to let those feelings go? Instead of just pushing everything down like i always do even when you told me not to. Idk what I'm saying anymore. I hope you're well mer mer
☆from your shitty ass ex best friend jay