hi there. loved ur book, I'm obviously into supernatural freaks. I wouldve said this in pms but that's not a luxury we have atm.
regarding ur bookk I think the plot is amazing. but if there's a couple tips I could give as a fellow writer it would be the following:
● you should focus more on describing Taehyung's character, quirks and habits, emotions and reactions to situations. the audience shall and will connect with your character on an emotional level.
ex: Taehyung pouted at the words, how could someone be this mean is beyond him. he chewed his thumb as contemplated about his next move, leg bouncing up and down with an unhuman speed before he snapped his fingers, "uh huh!"
(the quirk here is biting his thumb whenever he thinks, real taehyung does it smtms)
● if I were you I'd make the paragraphs a little smaller. don't surpass 4 lines, & if it's important to keep talking 6 is max. everyone's struggling with adhd. a long paragraph would make them feel too lazy to read or keep up and they'll jump scenes.
● speak emotions and body lungage. talk about how the the characters feel before speaking. how their face and features morphed etc, helps reader imagine the way in which the phrase was said by the characters, as yk, the way you say things changes the whole meaning.
ex: her eyes crinkled on the sides in glee as she gazed down at the baby, full of admiration for the little creature, "hi there," she whispered, giggling to herself at the laugh she received.
● give meaningful titles to your chapters, they should be catchy and on theme. don't be afraid to be dramatic, make ur readers curious. ppl are drawn to professionalism, id personality read a professionally written book w basic storyline rather than a poor written one with an excellent plot.
ex: the dawn of another tragedy
ex ²: the way everyone wants me dead.
that should be it, if you practice those a couple times you should be good.
if u have any questions lmk, peace out
