The lack of inspiration
(I know none of you will read from top to bottom, but whatever this made me feel better)
I have troubles of being inspired without anyone's help. I am slow when I'm not inspired. When I am inspired I strive to achieve what I want to achieve, the reason why I started what I started. Though when I am not inspired I am slow and feel like time is in slow motion. I feel sad.
It's the feeling of wanting to do something but having doubt upon yourself and debate in your head whether you should do it or not. It is a bad feeling. I don't like that feeling.
In fact, I am feeling that right now.
I have been sad lately, been feeling low. I just wish I didn't feel this way. I can prevent myself from feeling like this, but I tell myself "what's even the point?" before doing anything to prevent this sadness.
I have been drifting away from Sean's videos. I wish I haven't, I love him as a person and I wish I could watch his videos with the same excitement and happiness as I did a year ago. But those feelings are almost away now. I watch his videos every now and then but not every day. I just don't feel like watching his videos anymore.
I'm sad about that.
I'm also sad because I feel sad, which makes me sadder.
I wonder if any of you people feel the same as I. Maybe not the 0.000000000000000000001 percent of you in the world, but maybe someone else besides you little pinch of people. You never realize how small we are in the universe.. Does the universe ever end? You'd think somewhere it ends, but the more you think about it the more curious you become.
Anyway, I'm done. I'm not always sad like this, though. It's when the night time hits, then I start to think about these things.