Did you hear about the new broom that came out? I heard it's sweeping the nation.

*crickets*

Um..Did you know I used to be a banker? I quit cause I lost interest.

*more crickets*

Did you hear about- *crowd glares while that one kid sharpens knives in the background and whispers, "Try me, you female dog"

awkward as hell. crazy af. not sure what i'd do without puns. or food.

"My nose is crying." -A random homo sapien 

Peace, love and namaste (the only namaste-ing i do is in bed)✌