Lumesse

Okay but every time I try to talk about my night terrors or sleep paralysis all I get is advice to "not think that way and just go back to sleep." Which is something I have absolutely no control over, no one would want to hallucinate and not be able to move in the middle of the night..or move around, sob, scream and thrash out without control in the middle of the night without remembering anything the next day except little pictures.

How can she keep going between blocking me, unblocking me, inviting me and avoiding me all at once while acting normal and ignoring me whenever she wants to? How can I even cope to this? How does she expect me to act? She'd see me and we'd hold hands, hug, talk, all like normal, how it was a year ago, while the next day I get blocked or ignored for weeks for no reason nor any explanation? What I hate out of this all is the fact I pathetically accept it and avoid talking about it since she's acting normal. Whenever it's brought up I either get blocked again or she tries to spike up an argument. I know that's her excuse to push me away but I don't understand, while I am very stupid to keep contact with her, I don't feel like those things have happened at all whenever I'm with her. No even I don't understand myself or her or this situation but whatever it is, I'm being a dumb fucking shit that I can't get out of.

I need someone to boink my head every second of the day and ask me "what the fuck are you doing." After each one.

Found a vid on lesbian pigeons now im happy

I'm bored put of my mind. Studying finished, no hobby to do, awaiting exams, everyone busy, no one to go out with, and headaches. What was I even thinking drinking iced coffee before trying to take a nap..

I am so perplexed rn..

Anything that gets written here is not Me.