Well.. Hi.
I know we haven't talked for more than a year, I also know this account is absolutely empty and no one is using it.
But it's the last thing I have from you, and I genuinely want to feel any type of connection I don't mind losing my dignity for a few minutes before I go back to my right mind and regret sending this.
I'm in college, second semester, I applied for engineering and got accepted with the first patch, the smart kids one.
You know that never was my dream.. Or you don't know that? I'm starting to forget the things we used to talk about, how we used to spend time together, I don't even know if you actually cared about anything I shared with a genuine heart.
Anyways.. Yeah.
Engineering was never my dream, and I know that, I realize it every morning when I wake up knowing it's not what I want to die doing.
I'd rather die by your side.
I went through I few problems recently, problems that made me sit down and wish you were here again after some time of me accepting you were never coming back.
It comes back sometimes, the need to talk to you, it never vanished, never went away completely, it's always here.
Sometimes it's dim, sometimes it's so bright it blinds me, either ways it never goes.
I accepted that as well.
That I'll never move on from you.
It's something I've started to quite master—Acceptance.
Losing my dreams, losing my light, losing my comfort.
Losing you.
I've accepted them all, the last one not so much, but it's a slow never-ending progress.
I hope you dream of me whereever you are! With lots of love mixed with a little bit of hatred.
— The person who loved you the most: روان.
