Mrs. Riddle

Hey love I'm making a new account for fanfics go follow me at @sonyaboulevard!!❤️❤️

When you don’t have the will to move and get out of bed anymore.
          When it’s too hard to eat or drink.
          When your interests don’t interest you anymore.
          When you just can’t bring yourself to comfort the people important to you.
          When you don’t have the energy to pretend anymore.
          When they don’t need you anymore.
          When someone asks you what’s wrong, and you can’t explain it. 
          
          That’s when you know, there’s nothing left for you.

I almost passed out during PE today. I legit couldn’t see anything, like there were black spots in my vision and I could barely hear. Everything sounded muffled. Also like there was like a buzzy feeling on the bridge of my nose that kept spreading up to like my forehead. Not fun. Also I fucking hate my period! Istg I will throw hands with it. It decided to grace me with cramps so bad DURING SCHOOL that I COULDNT WALK!! I COULDNT FUCKING MOVE!!!!!!!!! 
          
          On the bright side tho, in history, we moved seats and now I sit really close to my crush!! So it’s me, and next to me is this kid I’ve never met before this but he’s like rly funny and super playful and like literally always keeps me laughing so it’s all good, and next to him is where HE sits!!! Often times, we have to work in table groups so I get to talk to him pretty often and they r both good at history so we can split the work well rather than me doing all of it which was what happened with my previous group..

I asked them. I asked them what I ever did wrong. I asked them why I am not good enough. I asked them why they don't want me. 
          "No one wants damaged goods," they said.

hey there, my friend.  here's some jokes i read, hoping to make you smile:
          
          1.	Why do people in France eat snails?
          Because they don’t like fast food.
          
          2.	Why is the math book always upset?
          Because it has lots of problems.
          
          3.	Teacher: I have five bottles in one hand and three bottles in another, what do I have?
          Student: Drinking problem
          
          4.	My idea of good morning is when I open my eyes, take a deep breath, then go back to sleep.
          
          5.	Never give up on your dream, keep sleeping.
          
          6.	My mom said to follow your dreams, so I went back to bed. 
          
          :DDD

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUESS WHAATTT  okokok so basically in pe class, we have this thingy where we do a throwback week if we are done with our PE activities from the current unit and do a unit or two from elementary or middle school and this week was partner dancing from eight grade and so we had to rotate partners every few minutes and okokok there is this dude in my class who I tutor a few times a week in math and he is so sweet and funny and caring (and he is so so so fine) and I got to dance with him today and istg I could literally feel sparks (Ik it’s super cliche but it’s the only way ik how to describe it) when he held my hands like he was so gentle and caring and he was looking at me like like I don’t even know how to describe it and later we got to pick our own partners and he came straight to me and asked me to dance with him and we were just like dancing and laughing the whole time and his friends passed by us and quietly made a comment about us, shipping me and him and I don’t think they know I heard but anyway he he was blushing pretty hard after that and my friends told me that I was blushing the whole time too and like I thought he was pretty cute when I met him but I don’t think I realized that I liked him but now I do and it’s official, I have a huge crush on him!! Please let him be the one 

Omg I just started reading ur stuff I'm obsessed 

Hiiii! Hru?

It sucks when nobody seams to notice you when you need them to. When it feels like the universe willed you to exist as a sick jock. In my experience, I could never do anything right according to the people around me and parents can some times suck when they out right demand you to smile because you're so lucky, but I've learnt that I am alive and that I  want to live and smile and enjoy my experiences. So I stopped minding the toxic people around me and started doing what I want. And I think you should too. 
          
          Hope this was helpful.♥️

Tw
          
          
          
          
          Hi to whoever is reading this, I just needed to vent, plz don’t mind me <33
          
          
          
          Someone asked me something abt my dream collage or some shit like that  earlier today and I started having a panic attack at school, not that anyone noticed. The worst part about being suicidal for me personally is the plan. At my lowest point in my mental health, I had decided to do it at 18. I would still have plenty if time to change my mind, and if I didn’t, I would get to live out my childhood. Any time anyone asks me about my 18th bday or anything about being an adult, it’s like a giant wave pulls me in and surrounds me, drowning me. It’s hard to breathe and I keep getting panic attacks. I spiral. My hands and voice start to shake and I can’t think properly. I’ve never imagined myself past 18. It’s like my life just stops at that point. I’ve never seen myself get a proper job, go to college, settle down, get married, have / raise kids, grow up, retire, get wrinkles. I can’t see myself doing any of those things and I don’t know how to tell anyone, because once I finally have their attention and they stop laughing, I don’t know what to say. I can’t. I just freeze. I dont know what to say, and even if I did, like what are they gonna do about it? Give me a fake, pitying smile and tell me everything is gonna be fine? In the end, my mental and emotional health gets worse and worse every day and I just can’t take it anymore.
          
          Another thing is I’m the therapist / comedic relief friend in my friend group. Everyone always talks to me about literally anything and I’m more than happy to help or just raise their spirits. I’m always the first to notice if something is wrong. However, it’s like when I need help, I’m practically invisible. I’m ignored, brushed off, and invalidated. When I finally have the guts to say that I need to talk to someone, I’m laughed at. It’s humiliating and insulting. My parents do the same. It’s like I’m only cared for when I’m needed, not when I need something.