Lian

Rar I'm emo as & #^

Okay I can name quite a few insults for myself, but a lot of people would disagree because i'm probably one of those "Shy people but once you get to kjow them they're actually really damn energetic and pretty dirty minded who reads and sometimes makes fanfiction or basically just stories"

If this seems rushed it actually is I don't need to specify the reasons but uh, reasons I never show myself crying! Because it's fun to vent even if I know people won't see this and I actually want to limit this, I don't like being with other people I like being alone I like it silent and I like it private which I don't usually get since my grandparents are almost always home and I can't just go upstairs to my room because I have to give a valid reason to go upstairs or else their gonna keep calling me to do my chores and because I don't have my own room I always share a room with my mother or my grandparents so I can't even cry in peace, another reason is that I don't like it when people tell me "it's going to be okay" in like sympathetic tones or a full on lecture as to why I should be happier or more determined because when I don't feel determined I tend to become more angry or more mentally tired which also gets me into more depressed feelings which leads to more lectures and gets my spirit down into the deep abiss of depressed thoughts! I'm not reading this i'm only venting so theres a lot of grammatical incorections or wrong spellings anyways human nature is about surviving so even if death faced me and I really want it to be over, human nature and my little ounce of will to live will stop me from embracing sweet death so woohoo congrats to humans wanting to survive! I hate crying, I despise that emotion, sadness literally forces me to shut my eyes and hold the tears in because I refuse to be given a lecture or show signs of weakness, crying is not yourself being weak I know that, but if I cry in front of my family they will ask me questions about why I am and give me a full on lecture just to try and make me feel better but in reality it makes me want to cry even more. It's also embarrassing to myself to cry infront of anyone at all because I still don't want attention or consolation, I want to be in peace and quiet when i'm sad

And yeah I don't really want to uh burden anyone with this information it's never anyone else's fault but my own, whatever punishment I get is something I have done wrong, Irl people I know or people I have contact with here I love you all my friends! I'm not trying to seek attention I actually want to avoid that but i'm just trying to keep some people informed about me and also vent a bit, the happy facade is still working and I plan to keep it that way!

Okay I don't ho estly know how to say this ngl but i'm just not really feeling well, this may be the last time in a long long while I can contact my friends or people I am in contact with, no i'm not hurt or sick or in any way dying my device has just gotten taken away as a punishment and I am feeling incredibly tired mentally not only physically but i am fine and I promise you that! For any people who know me irl don't even think about announcing this to public or I am going to mentally die on the i side if any of my family members find this out, because uh i'm a very private person and I only vent out to myself not to any one and I have to keep this happy ass facade to my family and friends, yes they are supportive and kind to me and I always know other people have it worse so i'm just saying this ou I am fine, I just might lose contact for a bit, stay safe everyone keep healthy

You have been booped! Boop 10 other people. Its a war!

Ola soy dora