It has been years since I have been back on here. 
I feel its had major help, loss, comfort, misery, upon my lonely existence. I am hopeful and ready but never prepared. It's all up to my survivability.
I believe in God. Where I end up is my fate because I need to be there. I know it will be great, remain hopeful and ambitious if you seek brighter expeirences. I really hope you take this to heart as I had did.