Memory_loss

If i'm offline, i'm either on my alt acc for SBG/StarBase. I CAN'T CHOOSE 1 FANDOM OR SHIP OKAY??? 
          
          Well anywayz, peace out 

I'm so fucking screwed up. Not by my social things but my fucking grades. Usually i'd be pretty good, and i don't mind grades, i don't mind anything in fact. But i'm fuckign failing everything. All because of some stupid graduation, stupid new school, stupid new faces. I can't even fucking talk to them and i'm in fucking tears and i hate it. The only reason why i share this online is because my mother likes to share the thing i've told her to her fuckign coworkers. It's getting so fucking annoying and at this point I just don't wanna hang i just want to fucking overdose on those stupid medical pills my mom has been giving me to 'Help me sleep.'
          
          It hasn't been working, when i'm around my new class, i just want to collapse and sleep, but if i'm at home i cannot get a glimpse of sleep. 
          
          It's getting so fucking annoying because on boy keeps ranting on and on about how 'depressed' he has been because he has no friends while he's sitting in a circle with 9-15 friends of his. 
          
          And it gets so annoying because if I decide to rant on tt, my friends or insta, people say 'real' or 'ikr!!' LIKE STFU?? 
          
          I hate how hard it is to talk to someone knowing i probably look stupid. And i have to listen to other people's vents too since that's a rational thing to do. 
          
          And everything about my life right now is in fucking shabbles. it's falling a fucking part. 
          
          I wouldn't be reluctant to cut, but to be honest, most people have it worse and i guess it makes me a tad bit better that i don't cut and show it off. 
          
          My mother doesn't even give a fuck. She says "If you want to carry it on your own, just shut up and suck it up."
          
          Not to mention that time she slapped me 8 times because I didn't tell her i was being bullied.
          
          It's fucking stupid too since i'm ranting right now while most of you guys probably have it worse. I probably sound so fucking stupid. if i stopped posting, then you know what it means. And it's the dirty type. 

screw it, i'm making one. 

Chat, Tylenol and SBG are growing on me. AM I HAVING MY SBG PHASE BACK!?? IT'S COMING BACK OMFG AUHEHEHEGDY... 
          
          BUT SCHOOL BUSS GRAVEYARD, TYLER, AND LOGAN ARE ALL SO FUCKING FINE AND IT'S BEEN ALMOST THREE YEARS SINCE I LAST HEARD OF IT!!!! 
          
          (Might actually write a StarBase/Tylenol fanfic if this keeps up)

I need to stop ugly crying at night bcs of a girl I cannot have fr. 
          
          How are you guysss? (I'm doing so fucking fine i feel like soemthing bad is gonna happen. Keeping myself humble.)

currently 5:17am, ima do my assignments now (cool face emoji)
          
          But fr, why tf do we have such black market, jaw dropping, hard ass, no solution, show computation, jumping in a pool of sharks level type of assignment?? 

IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS BCS SHE (yeah, the girl who rejected me, get on with it..) SHE ACKNOWLEDGED MY EXISTANCE TODAY. SHE WAS SO KIND TO ME ALTHOUGH IT WAS ONLY IN MANNERS, ISTG IF I CANNOT HAVE HER, LET ME BE HER FRIEND AGAIN PLEASEEEEEEEAS

*ignoring the fact i'm author blocked, Art blocked, sports blocked, lazy, and have no motivation to live what-so-ever*

I STILL HAVEN'T MOVED ON FROM MY REJECTION OMFG, When ever my mom says i'm pretty, it just brings me back to the time SHE (Referring to my crush heheha) used to call me that. 
          
          AND WHENEVER I HEAR HER VOICE I JUST START GETTING SHORT OUT OF BREATH OMFG. AND WHEN SHE DOES PAY A LIL ATTENTION TO ME, IT JUST MAKES ME ANXIOUS WTF?? 
          
          BRING ME BACK TO THE TIME SHE USED TO HOLD ME HAND. 
          
          PLEASE TAKE ME BACK, JUST FORGET ABT YOUR HOMOPHOBIC MOTHER PLSSS

If you feel lonely, i could be lonely with you ^^