Hey
I took a look at your writings.
If I had to give some advice, first of all, be careful with language - I don't mean slang or swearing, that's perfectly fine, but rather grammar. Then, try to re-read your parts and see which parts could be more developed, as they seem a bit short, longer parts will bring depth and hook the readers up.
Wish you well
PS - I saw you mentioned Tomura had brows - check better, he doesn't