Heya, I started reading your story last night and really enjoyed it, but it was late and I didn't get to finish the first chapter yet, but I'll read it today. What drew me to it was that it is tagged as Permaculture, which my story is also. Like yours, I'm guessing, permaculture isn't the main thrust of the book, which I think is really cool. In my book, there are more aspects of permaculture later on, but it never dominates the story.
I think people are missing a trick by not having permaculture in their stories. I mean, stories are such a big part of the transition movement. You'd think more people would be doing it.
Any way, I'll comment later. I'm working on my story at the moment. And get some more chapters out!