I cut myself today. Not like one of those ‘oops the knife slipped’ type of cuts either. Like I actually took something and cut myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal. I don't want to die or anything.
With that being said you're probably asking why did I do it then. It's not like cutting myself will take the pain away. You're right. It doesn't but it does make a new type of pain. A pain that I can control.
Do I like being in pain? Yes and no. I actually sat and admired the cuts after. That also made me add a few extra cuts. But it also hurt me. You're probably thinking ‘Duh of course if hurts. You just sliced your arm.’ True but I mean a different type of hurt. I promised myself I wouldn't get to this point and now I'm here. That hurts me.
What hurts even more is that I don't actually mind where I am. Anyway I just had to get that off my chest. I think everyone deserves to have a good rant every now and then.
