To be friends with me you must understand-

~I'm insane, entirely bonkers, off my head
~my best friend is a doorknob
~I'm at the ball waiting for my prince
~my prince is my toad, Johnny
~I'm married to a pole
~I believe my pole is pregnant with a rooster
~I am a monkeyjigglebobblekinbutterflymanrainbowdonkey, one of a kind.
~your breath smells horrifyingly horrible
~Mind your head and don't lose it. As you can SEE I HAVEN'T?
~my dreams consists mostly of half naked toads and insane people who make me look almost... NORMAL!
~I dreamt of you. Yeah you flew. Into a pile of shitzu's with shotguns and purple eyeballs up their chicken eggs.
~I am a blue donut.
~YOUR MUM!
~I'm Australian
~last week I escaped a mental asylum with a spoon. I was on the top floor and a shoved the spoon down people's throats and removed their intestines until they let me out.
~if you have a weak stomach you shouldn't have read the sentence above.
~you really shouldn't've
~I ate the toilet water

Hi! Nice to meet you I'm ENTIRELY BONKERS