⚚ 𝑺𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒚 ⋆𖦹

I'm so sorry. I hope you know I still think of you every single day. What happened still breaks my heart. You should've seen me when I heard about. Man, I was a mess. I was crying so hard and it was 2am or something crazy like that and I called my boyfriend because it wouldn't stop and he tried to make it better by saying maybe it's a joke because this thing happens all the time on wattpad. I'm sorry for not grieving you sooner but that doesn't mean I ever forgot about you. I've lost so many people over the years but you were the one person I couldn't bare to leave me so when you did my brain went to denial. I hope you know how much I loved you and how you made me feel so seen and heard. How you made me laugh when I was crying. How you shared your music taste with me and judged mine. How you complimented me and always knew if something was up. I know it's not anyone's fault you're not here anymore but if you are up there watching me, I want you to know that I'm still living for you. I've been self harming still but it's the only way for me to cope without doing what you did. Sometimes I hate Moon for it even though she doesn't deserve it. She's in just as much pain as me. That's why I'm going to make it better. I promise Madi. I love you and please rest well. We are all thinking about you and we definitely haven't forgotten you. Your soul is still with me every single day. You made a huge impact in my life and I know sometimes we drew a little too close to the line but Madi, I wish you knew that I did love you. I can't explain it but I did.