TheWalnutTree

Hey my love 
          Feel free to vent to me about whatever you want 
          Especially about friendships because I’ve been there I’m still there
          In fact my bsf has sent me some texts and I don’t have the energy to reply to her and deal with her because.. well it’s a long story 
          But sometimes even cutting people out it’s a good thing 
          
          You wanted a review about your story
          I had a look at it and voted :) 
          so what I think is that it’s quite rushed. One minute we are at home and the next we are at a club. I think you need to spread it out and slow it down. 
          So describe things more. Explain things. Tell us what the character would be thinking. Introduce characters slowly. Remember that not all the action needs to happen in the first chapter. It just needs go hook readers. 
          I love the plot, it’s really interesting. Keep it up

Mafia_mistress

@TheWalnutTree Thank you for your advice <3333.
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