Just a asshole nothing to see here move on <3
.
.
.
.
.
Still here? lame...
.
.
.
.
.
you can go.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
no? 
okay don't say i didn't warn you LOL xD
.
.
.
.
.
.
iv'e been abused my entire life which lead to self harming and a couple of suicide attempts not that it matters anymore.
recently 5 of my closest friends committed suicide i'm not sure what to do no iv'e been very depressed thank god i'm able to make a mask that no one can see through.
before i came to this school i was seriously about to kill myself . why? well i couldn't stand being starved abused unloved i was never safe i'm still not oh well. I don't really matter anyways... don't worry though if i were to kill myself now (i won't) i wouldn't tell anyone because that's pointless. 
iv'e been to 36 funerals in total it's fine i got used to it. 
i'm always thinking about something else i'm never actually in the moment.
Every single human being on this planet including myself is a asshole a liar a thief a cheater....
But we all have a little good in us some more then others.
i used to have anxiety bulimia anorexia cutting suicidal tenancies.
I had sex often to take my mind of off things but that got boring because i could screw basically anyone i wanted
i now see how wrong that was but whatever.
I can't stay on one topic i just can't i get bored to quickly.
right now i'm trying to get over all the losses iv'e had it all hit me late. i like dying my hair or picking out outfits for me to wear but i can't when i'm going to school you know with the whole uniform thing.
but yeah this is the worst iv'e ever felt which is strange because i'm not being abused starved emotionally abused im not cutting or self harming in any way.
i'm never okay but that's fine because i don't really matter i'm still here for one reason and it's the only reason and that's to make other people happy if i can't do that at least i should just... nvm of course i was vague so it wouldn't be sad 
Have a great day <3 i love you..