It's with a sad and crushing heart, I tell you. The absence from 2020 was because my mom got ovarian cancer. She beat the cancer by 2022. From then, God gave her life free of cancer till Feb 2024. The cancer turned metasis i.e it travelled from organ to organ. During mid 2024, the cancer was inapproachable by doctors. She was in pain.
No words can describe how much pain she carried throughout the year and how much I had to witness my mom's body to decline. Later May her health declined again but it wasn't as bad as before, so we thought and worked to make her strive through it. Tried is an understatement.
From late May to June, for the whole month as soon as I got free from my master's test and had summer vacation, her health took a bad turn. I stayed awake the whole night holding her hand, hearing her pain, trying to encourage, crying together with her.
This 23 June right a month before her birthday, I...my siblings, we all witnessed her lifeless body in the morning. Prior night, I held her hand and prayed and prayed and prayed. The guilt will eat me alive.
I came here to check up on my book, I saw notification from here and other platforms. I always thought i would come back. I got so many responsibilities as a daughter then as a president in my bachelor's. I forgot my passion.
For mom, I'll write about her. Her hardship, endless love, selfless service, biblical teachings, and her moral values. Her legacy, to make it immortal, I'll write again. The only difference is, she's not here to witness.
I ask you all to pray. To pray for her soul. So she reaches her peace and that she is held by her father. The pain is great so excuse me if I'm inactive again. I can't express it in words. Neither in sounds except for the cries. Losing a mother was, is and never will be easy.
I miss her. Dearly so. I miss you, mom. I love you. I'll wait. Repent. And try.
May you find peace now. Ich liebe dich. Sehr. Sehr.
Maker Taker
