Mallowice

how can I find accounts of some ppl I used to talk to? 

So sad that the private messages were all deleted huhu. I was hoping to see if I could find any clues there eh T^T. 

I also read some of my posts here and realized I’m better now :’(. Not totally okay but better.

@cheovyn I knew it, it is you:( Pls pls pls talk to me. I’m still in touch with flobbie, we miss you and wilhobbie so muchh:(( I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you years ago. We’re all adults now. If the universe allows, maybe we can all be friends again? I wanna make everything up to you guys:(  I hope you see this T^T

If you’re one of my pandemic besties, please reach out to me when you read this. I really wanna talk to you. 
            
            Here are my socmed accounts if u forgot them 
            
            ig: louwisshhh
            fb: mary louise manuel (the one wearing a blue shirt)

hello, who’s this?

joke, maangas ako

ihh

They tried their best pa rin naman to still celebrate my 18th birthday. Nagpagawa si papa ng 2 tier pink cake for me na may lamang 500 bills, which is 9k in total. Sorry pero hindi ko talaga mapigilang maging maldita tuwing birthday ko kasi how can I be happy knowing na I wasted another year of my life na naman?

last year, planong kaming magkapamilya na lang ang mag-celebrate sa maliit lang na private resort. As in good for 15-20 persons lang yung place. Kaso masyadong masama sa akin yung tadhana, nagka-dengue si mama:). I kept quiet and pretended that it's okay lang na hindi na natuloy yung swimming sa private resort, tsaka paano ba naman ako magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob magsabi na gusto ko talaga mag-debut kung wala na akong kaibigan that time and naririnig ko sa magulang ko na problemado sila sa pera? Sino naman sana magiging bisita ko kung ganoon, 'di ba?

pucha, kulang-kulang na pala ng words pinagsasabi ko rito tapos daming typo

Naguguluhan ako sa feelings ko dahil sa tarantadong 'to eh. He used to be my type way back 7th grade pedo hindi na ngayon, kaya naguguluhan ako kasi hindi siya attractive for me pero I feel at peace everytime tell my secrets with him. Tsaka hinding-hindi ako papatol sa kaibigan or naka-thing ng kakilala/kaibigan ko. That's a BIG NO and YUCKY. He's a red flag pa. I like his vulnerable side lang, the rest ay ew na.

Tuwing umiiyak at nalulungkot ako, itong mokong na 'to talaga pumapasok sa isip ko. Siya lagi pinagsasabihan ko ng lahat ng nasa isip ko eh, at ganoon din siya. Unfortunately, because of his bad behavior, I cut him off. 

kasalanan ata ng songs ng WTE na pinapatugtog ko kung bakit mas lalo akong naging senti ngayon AHAHAHAHHAHAHA 

I'll make sure to enjoy every moment of my time in my college life. This time, I'll take my studies seriously and give my best while also having the time to have fun and explore Cagayan Valley with the right circle of friends. Regrets and self-blaming won't turn back the time I wasted. I only have 4 years left to enjoy my youth and being a student. I will make sure that this time, I won't regret anything. 

I just can't help but be sentimental these past few days:(. In a few weeks, I'm finally entering my college life, alone, in a new environment, far away from home. And it made me realize how fast time is. I haven't even enjoyed my teenage life very much, but next year, I'll be in my 20s already. I want to blame myself for locking myself up inside the house instead of making friends and spending time with them. 

kasi nakapasok ako sa standards ng almost ka-level ng UP yung MLS ng CSU HAHAHAHAHAHA 

kaya never settle for less na em ahihihihi 

nakapasok ako sa standards ng MLS ng CSU wgqiqvaiqu