MalokeyTheAllAround

Anyway, that’s kinda it. As far as writing more fics, I can’t really tell ya if I want to continue or not. I gave my ongoing projects a reread, and I want nothing more than have them done, but I still don’t have much motivation or time to work on them. I guess it’ll just have to depend on my mood.
            
            Well, it was nice checking in here, I think I might read some fanfics again like old times. Cheers, fellas!

Quick life update if anyone cares, otherwise scroll away:
            
            2025 was a rough year for me mentally, but I’ve been feeling a lot better lately. Found out I’m probably on the spectrum which opened my eyes to quite a lot. I wonder how many noticed before I did…  
            
            More importantly, I’m working to regain my relationship with Jesus. It’s a long story, but basically I was struggling with self worth and didn’t think God valued me either. Currently working to get out of that headspace. 
            
            The most interesting development is that I’m into alt-inspired fashion now and I’ve never felt so pretty! Like, I always thought the goth/emo/punk stuff was cool but never considered to dress like that. Welp, I’ve definitely come around! I learned how to sew and make my own studs. And coolest of all, I’ll never throw out old clothes again! Because I can just make something else out of them! Awesomest revelation ever!

The irony of these posts having typos  is not lost on me. I simply do not feel like fixing them. 

And this crap happens all that dang time to me. Do I word things THAT badly? Are my opinions THAT problematic for people? 
            
            Maybe it’s my mistake for trying to argue with people in YouTube comments idk. 

I especially hate it when they pick apart your wording, so then you rephrase it and explain yourself, and then they go “I ain’t reading all that.”
            
            What. Do. You. What. From. Me.
            
            I have always taken the time to read every last word of someone’s reply, no matter how long it is, so that I can properly form my response. Saying “I’m not reading all that” doesn’t make you look smart, my guy, and neither have you “won” argument by doing so.

@MalokeyTAA That's sad....

I don’t know what to do. I’m so lonely and bored, but being with people makes the loneliness even worse somehow. I love my friends, but all they do is remind me how weird and different I am. I know they love me, but it always seems like they have a much better time without me. 
            
            The worst part is that there is no one blame. I am so angry and upset, but there is no one to be mad at, not even myself. I feel so wronged but no one has wronged me. 

I don’t go out and do things unless someone else makes me. I sit around my house and wait for things to happen to me. And I know full well that that’s no way to live, yet I find it difficult to change because I’m afraid. The line between good trouble and bad trouble is so thin. I can’t tell which types of shenanigans are cool and funny and which are dangerous and dumb. So to be safe, I don’t try at all.
            
            And even on the rare occasion I DO get the chance to have a genuine moment in my life, I can hardly enjoy it because my brain is actively trying to ruin it for me. Friends aren’t enjoyable for me because I’m too busy worrying if I’m doing the whole “friendship” thing correctly. Every time I’m happy, I immediately start wondering what I’m doing wrong, or when the bad thing is gonna happen. 
            
            I have spent my whole life trying to be smart, not realizing I had accidentally traded all my happiness and innocence for it. 

@MalokeyTAA thank you for the compliment :)