'Ello Lassies (and Lads),          (No, I'm sadly neither a Scot or Irish, so no cool accent for me, booh!)


If it's funny, I'm all for it.
I'm a stickler for proper grammar and sentence structure. 
My attention span is all of 1 min and 45 sec, although, to be fair, I did time that during math class so it may be more than that.
I'm not mean, just honest.
I'm not rude, just not polite.
And can I just say, I would disagree with Jane Austen fans who think that Pride & Prejudice is her best work. Persuasion is hands down my favorite because it's less fanciful and more realistic and believable.
I love Historical romances and classics, Vampires are not my thing, neither is magic or lovey-dovey romance stuff. Comtemperary and Werewolves are fine.
Blond guys are not appealing; I like 'em tall, dark and handsome.
Skinny girls with no hips or boobs are horrible to read about and model-thin chicks are creepy and not something I wanna see someone willingly put in a book as a main character. 
Go MANCHESTER UNITED! And it's my dream to attend the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, I might be willing to sell my soul to go but then, of course, it would have to be a free trip.

Here's what I'm offering:

If you think you've got a good story but you're not great on the grammar, spelling, and punctuation front, then, you can ask me to read it and fix the mistakes. 

Here are the conditions:

It had better not be a boring story because, like I said, my attention span is short and I'll loose interest fast.
The mistakes can't be so horrible that I have to rearrange entire sentences all the time to make sense of what you've written.