I am a writer, and I hate describing myself sober.  I also hate writing drunk, so we've got a catch-22, here.  I am a babysitter of adults, a public speaker of frightening dimensions, an Illuminated One with a title I can't share, and possibly the One True King, though I don't have any money.  I'm the best Tarot reader in the holy city of Austin, Texas.  I can sing, too.  My Facebook name is an occult secret in it's own right.  I am a Thelemite, if you know what that means.  If not, Google it, why don't you?  Don't be afraid.  Ooh, I just heard Yoda contradict me!  'You will be,' he said.  'You will be.'  Is it just me, or is that the only sentence he ever got out forwards?  My aim in life right now is to get enough time away from everybody and every little thing to get my stories written.  They are stories of our revolutionary times, and the occult secrets key to breaking down rotting structures, and building shiny new ones.  These ain't philosophy books, mind you; they are in novel form, with all the weird sex, outlandish violence, blasphemous humour and such necessary to keep this jaded online generation turned on.  Perhaps there are no truly new stories; perhaps we can only combine old elements in new ways.  But come on, kids!  We can do better than endless sequels, reboots, remakes and such!  I know we can; ol' George R. R. Martin teaches us this, yes?  Read The Armageddon Rag and Fevre Dream; ironically, the man's great at endings.  I digress frequently.  Nothing I just said will stop me from seeing every future Star Wars movie, either.  I'm a Libra; we're a mess of contradictions.  I blur the lines between 'reality' and fiction.  I never use the former word outside of quotes, as Robert Anton Wilson taught me: 'reality' is what you can get away with.  It's my intention to get away with a lot, more than most can conceive.  I'm pretty sure I'm a secret Targaryen.  I might be a Sith Lord.  I ain't Snoke, but if I were, would I tell you?  Few characters left.  93.