There are malignant ghost inside that stab me from behind.

Beware, I'm under the influence of LSD. 

If you love Harry Potter, I'll take a shot.
If you talk about Harry Potter, I'll swallow aspirin.
If you go bonkers with me, I'll probably hop into a sauna and sing for you ever so mellifluously. 

If vexing strangers is your aim, I'd rather be a savage. That's off the record. 

I'm pretty punctilious in providing every amenity, but I'm currently scrubbing loos. 

My opinion about  table-turning and spiritualism simply proves that educated society-so called-is no higher than the peasants. 

If you think you're lowering yourself, here's the floor, there's the door.  

I don't give a rat's arse about what you think of me. 

What's to be done?

What have I to toil for?