yeah you do need to be clear in expressing what you want. As in your charecter build really sucks but your concept is lovely! uh somewhat from what I understand but keep on writing and don't lose hope
:)
Sorry if I'm going to hurt your feelings but your work is crap. You need to pay attention to spelling and building up character and plot. You need to stop rushing and add detail. Your sentences are awkward and have many errors. Not trying to be a bitch but help improve your story.
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