.

Sofia is a ho e

i just want everyone to know that if i go on shark tank the invention that id pitch would be a button that deletes watermelon because watermelon is nasty 

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i go to home depot. i eat the tools. hoes b4 bros

ukuleles are so wonderful

28 stab wounds

mindfulness? fu ck off

do u ever just misplace ur vital organs

i enter the aromatherapy shop. i start drinking the essential oils. the employees are attacking me. you cannot take my vibes, i tell them. all of the sudden, the essential oils have gluten in them. out of nowhere, i get celiac disease. everything goes dark. i wake up in the hospital. my health bar appears, i have nothing but a stone sword in my inventory. the nurses arrive. the nurses, unarmed, begin to attack me. i flee the scene. i am being hunted for sport. my grip on my stone sword tightens as i charge directly into the panera next door. before i can initiate a riot, an elderly lady stands up and faces me. she opens her purse. hundreds of thousands of bees come spilling out into the panera. everyone is crying. there is no hope left for humanity. brace yourself.