Marxsychosis

It really has been a while.
          
          I haven't written anything for a long time. A year perhaps roughly? Two? I honestly don't remember, but I think I'm ready to get back into the mix. Originally, what stopped me from writing altogether was a feeling of defeat, low self-esteem, and valuing the viewership of others too much. Comparing yourself to others is never healthy, of course, but after some therapy, I don't feel this anymore (or at least mostly).
          
          So, I guess this announcement marks my return, perhaps. We shall see. I intend on getting the Reimu story back up and running, but obviously, college work and whatnot may be stumping me temporarily. And I'm rusty, so that won't be helpful either.
          
          But anyone can relearn with enough time and patience, so I think I'll review what I've written in the Reimu story and try to pick it up from there. Expect a shift from my usual formula from the Chapters.

Are you still working/writing Arthur-san??

I apologize for the lack of updating my stories and my severe inactivity. I suppose that it is appropriate that I provide an explanation to those who are concerned about why I haven't updated my most recent story, The Megalopolis of Scythe and Key.
          
          The truth is: I'm not motivated, at all. I have forced myself to write and have found dissatisfaction, low self-esteem, unhappiness, and whatnot. As a result, I am currently seeking therapy for potential depression and any other mental disorders that may entail. I am trying to get my life back under control, find motivation, become happier, and raise my self-esteem. Once I have accomplished this simple task, I will resume.
          
          Until then, no updates will be posted until I regain motivation and improve my mental health.

If you ever approach writing with the mentality of "getting it over with" or "I have to do this," understand this mentality is detrimental because it's extrinsic motivation. Always write because you want to and write what you want; do not write with the mentality of doing it for others or your writing will be less satisfying to you, and you will suffer.

I wanted to post this on a personal note to remind myself and perhaps others can find this helpful:
          
          I will defend to my grave that filler in stories is often misidentified. "Filler" has many reasons for being included in a story, from creating an effect, emphasizing something, being used for pacing purposes, or it's necessary, it ISN'T filler. It's serving a purpose.
          
          If you're using "filler" to ramble on about something at length to emphasize its importance by telling about it in more than one paragraph, this will achieve the proper effect and isn't filler. If it's to slow down the action, it isn't filler. If it's to create dramatic effect, it isn't filler. If it's necessary for understanding the story, then for whoever's sakes must exist out there, it ISN'T filler.
          
          When it comes to writing stories, filler is hard to do because each paragraph you write is meant to serve a purpose. If you took the "filler" out, you'd lose pacing and be too straight to the point that the reader can't take a breather. For essays, yes, filler is easy to do and should be dealt with. But for whoever you are if you're reading this as a fellow reader, do NOT be afraid of "filler." 

So, December has came along, and yet, it only appears I've been working on other stories besides Recalcitrant Jurisdiction. I'm certain this may be strange or perhaps infuriating to some users since they are hopeful another update will soon take place, but I am afraid to announce that while it will not be discontinued under any circumstances, it's going to be put on hold for an unclear amount of time.
          
          Novels are always ones I wish to embark on, but short stories have always been my bigger preference in comparison. The reason is simple: With short stories, I have no need to fear quantity because everything will be published in one complete Chapter while as for novels, they burden me with having to continue it to a point where continuation feels like I'm drowning in quantity. 
          
          With due consideration for all of this, I have nothing really new to update on other than the current status of Recalcitrant Jurisdiction. Despite it being one of my most popular stories, it's also the one I'm least satisfied with, so further delay will persist. 

It is not about motivation but discipline.

Continuation of previous message:
          
          I apologize to only myself because I shouldn't have left the story untouched for this long. Personally, I prefer short stories more rather than novels because it allows me to explore interesting concepts of mine that I can achieve in one a thousand words rather than aiming for an entire novel where I must come up with tons of concepts and mash it into one, which has led to quite some mundane events. So, I believe I will write a short story and publish it on Wattpad (and possibly AO3, if I like it enough). What it shall be, I do not know yet; however, I should find a concept soon and will try to take a break.
          
          Writing for the purpose of "getting a Chapter over with" mentality compared to the mentality of "writing a Chapter while having fun" is, by all accounts, unhealthy. This mentality has been too overbearing for me, so I'm going to try writing a short story for fun. No real focus on trying to get it over with but to fully enjoy it to its potential that I like.
          
          With all that being said, in conclusion, I will put Recalcitrant Jurisdiction on hold and proceed to focus on exploring the more healthier mentality of having fun (while following accuracy) rather than the other unhealthy mentality I had to get better. I will retrieve this mentality I hope and then apply it to Recalcitrant Jurisdiction.

I've unfortunately started to realize that I have become purposeless and unsatisfied with my publication of Recalcitrant Jurisdiction due to the effects it has created. 
          
          For one, I do not feel like working on Recalcitrant Jurisdiction; indeed, motivation shouldn't really bad a factor to consider here because if you're going to write a story and want to complete it, you shouldn't let a lack of motivation cause you to procrastinate that you basically refuse to work on a story you've created 12 Chapters for. However, for this to be able to get the better of me, the detrimental effects are far more than I can bear, so I have decided to not discontinue the story but to put it on hold yet again.
          
          Two, I haven't worked on the story since August 25th. This is a grave concern for me because I have never done this before, and it makes me realize something is wrong. As a result, through self-analyzation, I've come to realize novels aren't exactly my cup of tea at times, as Recalcitrant Jurisdiction feels like a drag with the same formula applied every time, with a predictable ending. Of course this is merely practice for me, but I cannot tolerate a story that doesn't really feeling that exciting to me. Due to this, I will try to change the formula and lead the story to far more interesting events. No longer will it be a Chapter of no murders followed by a Chapter of murders, but it will be one that I will eventually figure out. Hopefully, this new shift will be entertaining for both myself and others.

Recalcitrant Jurisdiction is being put on hold yet again to work on the collaboration of my friend. Honestly, it's surprising to know I've been working on Recalcitrant Jurisdiction for nearly a year and still ongoing, being one of the most interesting novels I've ever written. However, there are other subjects I must tackle before completing it, so please keep this in mind.
          
          I'm going to eventually work on my very own story with my own characters and everything else; when I do, I do not know. Albeit, once I start this project, I believe I'll want to divert my undivided attention on this and not turn away, so Recalcitrant Jurisdiction may be put on hold even longer depending on how I'm feeling.
          
          I apologize for the delays being put into my work.