MaskedDreams64

The man himself has returned 

Pokémon: *cuts Pokémon off of the game*
          
          Me: well it’s fine, they were going to have to do it eventually
          
          Pokémon: *takes off all the starters except for Charmander along with almost every legendary including Lunala and Mewtwo, And has the balls to take out Abra, pretty much cutting my main party in half*
          
          Me: now this... this became a difficult situation

 #TeamTrees
          https://teamtrees.org/

Girl: I’m gonna get a boyfriend
          Mom: be careful, boys only thing about one thing nowadays 
          Girl: Sex?
          Mom: No, Minecraft

I can imagine Bowser about to fight Mario, then he gets a notification on his phone, tells Mario to give him a second, and goes into another room to shout at Bowser Jr. to get off the switch and do something productive

Dude someone just asked me to h*ld their h*and, like woah I only known you for a year

I got on the table and started singing like they do in the movies and I got in trouble
          
          
          Like what the heck, I never seen such crap before

Random person: Who would ship Link with Sheik?! Link and Zelda is obviously what happens!
          
          Kit-Kat: *triggered Chocolate noises*

Me: I’m a huge pervert... I don’t think people will like me, I’ll probably never get a job if I’m this much of a pervert...
          
          
          
          
          
          But at least I’m not in jail for it!

S(he’s) breakin(g) bec(a)use she didn’t know wh(y) she believed him