King Static

If anyone has any suggestions on what I can do to improve the story, let me know! I want it to be my story but I'd like it to have some structure to this story. Thanks!

For those of you who have read Cedar Point, I hope you enjoyed what ive posted so far. It would mean alot to me if you shared this with yiur friends on social media just to get the word out because the goal is to get this produced into a live action film. 
          
          Thanks!