Mbellaire

My fave series to watch while high
          SpongeBob
          Trailerparkboys
          Ancient Aliens 
          Avatar the last airbender
          
          That's so far it, thanks

End of the semester has been so hard. Life is so hard. Im trying my best i want to be strong i push myself to pass all the classes, to go to work, to clean my room, to make food, to get out of bed - but god is my heart heavy and my head tired. I overthink a lot. I feel alone. I am overwhelmed and i want to sleep.
          Can someone hold me, encourage me, love me and support me? I dont know how to ask for it. For me its always been give up alone or try again alone. Why do i feel so alienated? Why cant other people help me even if they try?
          Since highschool theres been so many people that have come and gone. I feel like theyve never gone completely, how do i let them go? Life is changing too fast for me to keep up, i get stuck in the past and in my head. I want some stability. Getting old terrifies me. Moving forward feels like moving through thick mud.
          
          But i am trying. I'm trying so hard. Someone be proud of me, please. 

Slowly falling in love again

Me and my flatmate have such a domestic relationship now
          He was happy today that i did laundry
          He told me what jest gonna be buying tomorrow when he goes shopping
          We bring each other food from work
          We Ask each other what time the other is going to be home
          We leave notes when we need soap, toilet paper, Milk, bread
          Lifes been so different since ive moved out of my parents house
          

LOVE my flatmate he's like my little brother.
          The beat decision i made this year was moving in with him
          He made my empty flat feel like an acutal new home and i'm not as lost anymore as i was when i was living Alone.

Been high for almost a week now what is anything

6am getting high in a Burger King parking lot

Loosing trust for someone you loved, still loving them but knowing you dont trust them anymore is such a terrible and empty feeling

Sometimes i miss her so much i Can barely stand it. And i knew it would end because she was a mess and she wouldnt talk to me for a year at times but she was my first love and i think it will always hurt.
          

Some of my favorite books and written mostly as a  retrospection. Theres something so bittersweet about looking back at life after youve gained insight.