MeAndKarma

Holy Fu/k dawg rest in peace Silvia Pinal, you're a fuckin/ legend. There would be no writer version of me if it weren't for you. 
          	
          	The utter darkness and brutality of my developed style are all thanks to this woman. Rest easy, Queen.

MeAndKarma

Holy Fu/k dawg rest in peace Silvia Pinal, you're a fuckin/ legend. There would be no writer version of me if it weren't for you. 
          
          The utter darkness and brutality of my developed style are all thanks to this woman. Rest easy, Queen.

MeAndKarma

I truly have no words to describe the last couple of days, but this is an attempt. 
          
          I still remember being thirteen and standing in a Fry’s holding a magazine with One Direction on it. 
          
          At the time, I had no idea who they were or what all the hype was about. I remember going home and looking them up on DeviantArt (I didn't know how to use the internet). It was as if I struck gold. I was wide-eyed, heart beating, feeling flushed—I absolutely loved what I was seeing about these British boys. 
          
          The first time I listened to their music (like most girls, it was ‘What Makes You Beautiful’) I was immediately drawn into their atmosphere; falling in love with Harry and Louis. 
          
          I sank my grubby hands into the fandom, going fully in into every corner of them, from their music, music videos, interviews, vlogs, photos, art, fanfics!

MeAndKarma

And I was right to a certain extent. 
            
            After a while, I knew it was finally, time to cut ties with the fandom and move on to other things in my life, and other artists, but they were always there. I would find myself going back to their music at random intervals throughout the years—even now. 
            
            It was amazing and beautiful seeing all of the boys build their own fandom and image. It was the sweetest feeling to fall in love with Harry’s musical image again. 
            
            And although I did not listen to Liam or the others, I can't express the utter hurt that is cast upon me; the terrible weakness that I feel simply knowing how he left this Earth. 
            
            I just wish it all happened so differently. 
            
            I understand that he was in so much pain—maybe far past the point of being helped, but I can only hope now that he is at peace and that he no longer has to suffer in this cruel world.
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MeAndKarma

After that, I remember seeing them brought up on a news segment that was discussing their popularity, I remember feeling special because I already knew most of their songs and little details about them. It made me feel so special. 
            
            I was completely enamored with everything about them. Being poor at the time, the resources to listen to their music were limited, but I managed to find every song they would put out and so forth. 
            
            They were the main reason I got into writing fanfiction, granted I was already aware of shipping culture, but being their fan pushed me to write my first Larry fanfic. If it wasn't because of them, I don't know if I would even be writing today. 
            
            They were everything to me. I was young and fully engaged with their musical image, I cried when they dated someone. 
            
            Then my dream came true, I got to see them live when they came to Arizona! It was beyond me, All five of them performing. I was so far away, but it was life-changing seeing them. 
            
            When Four was released, that album had to have changed my brain chemistry or something along that. Most of the songs on that album are so dear to me and will forever be part of my growth. 
            
            I remember waiting for ‘Midnight Changes’ and ‘Steal My Girl’ music videos to be released. I loved the improvement that they were experiencing when it came to their songs, it was like growing up with them. 
            
            I remember when Zayn left the band and how much I cried. I remember being in the Walmart parking lot and just hollering because a part of me knew the end was near.
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