Mei_Hatter

this message may be offensive 
My mind of a ten year old girl turned to cutting. The cuts  were hidden and nobody knew about them untill I told my crush about them. I expected her to tell the teacher but she didn't. She just kept quiet. And that scared the shit out of me. That's when I put on a mask of me being happy and positive with no problems, a person that never cry's. Three years past on and more problems pilled up. I told my mom that I was bisexual when I was 12. And she didn't take that very well. She calm down about it in the past year but every once and a while she would get mad at me for no reason and call me lesbian making me run to my room and cry. I later found out I'm not bisexual. I'm pansexual. But know I'm dealing with my gender. But guess what I don't care anymore. About me, my family, my 'friends' because it's summer. And Theres one BIG reason my I hate summer. That's because my mother won't let me out of the house. I feel like my friends are pretending to like me. I'm all alone. I feel nothing. And every time I go to sleep I wake up and I feel like I didn't get any sleep. And lately I felt like doing something that terrifies me... Lately, I felt like offing myself. One of my greatest fears. Dying. The only reason I'm doing this is because my cousin told me that if I post something like this it would help my become more brave and it will prove to me that people actually care about a 13 year old girl that is thinking about committing suicide. 
          	But I don't think that people will read all of this and comment what there truly thinking. 
          	
          	Bye 
          	
          	And hopefully not forever.
          	
          	                                                        Love,
          	                                                     Mei_Hatter

Lodge_o-1

@Mei_Hatter 
          	  Hey, hi its me I read all 3 of these and I don't know how to deal with this, I would say to tell other people and in which you did.  Talk with your friends when you get the chance.  And I have to be honest, your family is full of assholes. . . I am still here and please don't think of suicide please,  I'm afraid of losing another important person in my life. A bout your gender just go with the flow and think where your going to fit into. Good luck with every thing,
          	  
          	                                                            Love from a caring friend,
          	                                                                        Loge01 
          	  (Lavie A. H.)
          	  P.s. you said you dident want your friends finding out or what ever but i think its best if you tell them when you have the chance.
• Reply

Mei_Hatter

this message may be offensive 
My mind of a ten year old girl turned to cutting. The cuts  were hidden and nobody knew about them untill I told my crush about them. I expected her to tell the teacher but she didn't. She just kept quiet. And that scared the shit out of me. That's when I put on a mask of me being happy and positive with no problems, a person that never cry's. Three years past on and more problems pilled up. I told my mom that I was bisexual when I was 12. And she didn't take that very well. She calm down about it in the past year but every once and a while she would get mad at me for no reason and call me lesbian making me run to my room and cry. I later found out I'm not bisexual. I'm pansexual. But know I'm dealing with my gender. But guess what I don't care anymore. About me, my family, my 'friends' because it's summer. And Theres one BIG reason my I hate summer. That's because my mother won't let me out of the house. I feel like my friends are pretending to like me. I'm all alone. I feel nothing. And every time I go to sleep I wake up and I feel like I didn't get any sleep. And lately I felt like doing something that terrifies me... Lately, I felt like offing myself. One of my greatest fears. Dying. The only reason I'm doing this is because my cousin told me that if I post something like this it would help my become more brave and it will prove to me that people actually care about a 13 year old girl that is thinking about committing suicide. 
          But I don't think that people will read all of this and comment what there truly thinking. 
          
          Bye 
          
          And hopefully not forever.
          
                                                                  Love,
                                                               Mei_Hatter

Lodge_o-1

@Mei_Hatter 
            Hey, hi its me I read all 3 of these and I don't know how to deal with this, I would say to tell other people and in which you did.  Talk with your friends when you get the chance.  And I have to be honest, your family is full of assholes. . . I am still here and please don't think of suicide please,  I'm afraid of losing another important person in my life. A bout your gender just go with the flow and think where your going to fit into. Good luck with every thing,
            
                                                                      Love from a caring friend,
                                                                                  Loge01 
            (Lavie A. H.)
            P.s. you said you dident want your friends finding out or what ever but i think its best if you tell them when you have the chance.
• Reply

Mei_Hatter

He was the start of the walls that I was building. But not the cause of my depression. No. My depression was because of my family. My little sister likes to make fun of my weight even though I don't eat as much as her. She also tends to hurt me physically know that I won't hurt her. My mother tends to ignore me and some times forgets that I'm there. The only family member that doesn't hurt me mentally is my grandma. But even then she sometimes forget that I exist. I have a boyfriend. And I usually have a boyfriend for 5 mouths maybe more. But I have a boyfriend and the only way to get in touch with him is with a phone. My mother took away my phone and now I can't talk to him. Besides the point. I have a crush. I've had a crush on her since one of my ex best friends B day party.  Around the time i was questioning my sexuality.
           'I like boys but I also like girls' that was my thoughts.
          But then they become negative
          Most of the time I thought
          'your a freak' 
          'Your mom don't like people like that'
          'your going to hell' 
          'God doesn't like you no more'

maythedevildie

@Mei_Hatter well then let the devil in because God is a dick
• Reply

Mei_Hatter

this message may be offensive 
Confession Time
          
          For The past 9 years I have covered up how I really felt inside. 
          There is so many emotions that are traped in me, and I don't know what to do. I can't tell no one at home or can I tell my friends. Every time I feel sad, alone or if something is bothering me, I just cover it up with I smile and bite my tongue until it bleeds. The thing is I've been so angry that my father left me, my little sister and my mother, AND ALL FOR WHAT!?!? DRUGS!?!? And you now the sad part he died the next day believing that my little sister is not his child. He is the reason I feel abandoned. He used to tell me that he loved me and he wouldn't ever leave or let anything bad happen to me. But guess what! The day he left I was outside at the front porch playing with my dog. He went outside and told me that he was going to go to the store to buy cigars. But I new damn well it was code for fucking drugs!!! All because of him some random fucking gang members came to my house and started to get tell making my four month old little sister cry and my mother scared. That day I almost fucking died. It took so long to get out of there in one piece with my little sister and mother. But once we got to safety. My aunt was the one to tell me my father died from that same gang that pointed a gun at my little sister. I can't say I fully forgive him.