K.M.

https://www.facebook.com/MeiekYmestiem?mibextid=ZbWKwL

"Untitled"
          
          I’ve learned to live in waiting.
          Waiting,
          so I won’t expect too much.
          So I won’t bleed from the sharp edges of disappointment
          when your time slips through my fingers like smoke.
          I know,
          you can’t always give me the time I need.
          So I shape myself around your absence,
          bend myself, fold myself,
          until I become something that doesn’t need.
          
          I’ll adjust.
          
          I’ll make myself smaller
          so I don’t make it harder for you.
          I’ll wrap my neediness in patience,
          seal it up tight,
          so you don’t feel the weight of my wanting.
          
          I won’t cling,
          won’t ask for more than you can give,
          I’ll be the silence in the gaps of your busy life,
          the understanding that waits quietly at the back of the room.
          
          I’ll wait.
          I’ll wait with a smile that hides the ache,
          with hands that stay open, but never grasp.
          And maybe, just maybe,
          I’ll learn to be content with what you offer.
          
          But deep down,
          I wonder—
          when I give up my needs,
          who do I become?

"Too Much"
          
          Am I not important anymore?
          Did I do something wrong?
          Did I become a burden, too heavy for you to carry?
          Did I become the thing you dread,
          The reason you pull away,
          The silence on the other side of the phone?
          
          It’s my fault.
          I stress you out.
          I make your head spin, your patience thin.
          I’m the weight on your shoulders,
          The one who makes your chest tight,
          The reason you need to breathe deeper.
          
          I’m too much.
          I’ve always been too much.
          Too much to handle,
          Too much to love,
          Too much to want.
          I know it.
          
          I ruin things.
          I mess up.
          Everything I touch crumbles in my hands
          Because they’ve never been delicate enough,
          Never soft enough to hold something as fragile as us.
          
          It’s all my fault.
          I’m sorry.
          I’m sorry I can’t be like other girls.
          I’m sorry I’m not as pretty, as flawless,
          Not as slim or as effortless.
          I’m sorry my reflection isn’t what you wanted to see.
          I’m sorry I don’t have the personality that lights up rooms,
          The charm that makes people stay.
          I’m sorry I’m so messed up.
          I’m sorry for the storm inside me that never seems to calm.
          I’m sorry.
          I’m sorry.
          Sorry.
          Sorry.
          Sorry.
          
          I’ll change.
          I promise.
          I’ll shut my mouth.
          I’ll quiet down, stop making waves.
          I’ll be smaller, easier to carry.
          I’ll mold myself into whatever you need
          So you won’t have to feel the weight of me anymore.
          I’ll wait.
          I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to love me again.
          
          I’ll change.
          I won’t make things harder.
          I promise, it’s my fault.

He's like the desert itself: it's so beautiful, it's so warm, but there are sharp edges everywhere that you have to watch out for. You just have to know where they are. SO: I know this is all wrong. But maybe, me being me, this is as good as it's going to get. It's too late, anyway, you see: I've already fallen in.
          
          Girl in pieces by Kathleen Glasgow. Pg.252

"A Million Reasons to Leave, Yet I Stayed"
          
          I had a million reasons to leave,
          Each one louder than the last.
          Yet I stayed, anchored to the silence between us,
          Wrapped in the weight of what the world can never know.
          
          Your touch—whispered in the dark like a promise,
          Is a bruise that feels like comfort.
          And I, the moth drawn to flame,
          Chose to let the fire kiss my wings.
          Chose to stay when I knew better,
          Because somehow, you felt like the only thing that made sense
          In a world too loud, too bright, too real.
          
          You see, the world spins on rules,
          Made of lines we were never meant to cross,
          But we crossed them.
          We danced in the shadow of shame,
          Where no one sees us,
          Where we can forget, if just for a moment,
          That the hands we hold were never meant to fit.
          
          I had a million reasons to leave,
          Each one a truth I pretended to ignore.
          Your eyes are a lie I told myself was real,
          Your lips, a poison I drank because it was sweeter than the empty spaces you left behind.
          You were the storm that wrecked me,
          And I still stood in the rain,
          Not because I didn’t feel the cold,
          But because I was addicted to the lightning.
          
          I stayed because the hurt felt like home,
          Because loving you in the shadows
          Was better than losing you in the light.
          Because every stolen glance,
          Every whispered word,
          Made me believe that for a second,
          You and I could rewrite the world.
          
          But we can't.
          And I know this story doesn’t end well.
          I can already taste the goodbye,
          Hanging heavy in the back of my throat.
          But I stayed,
          Because leaving means letting go,
          And letting go means admitting we were never ours to begin with.
          
          I stayed, because hope is cruel,
          And maybe…just maybe,
          In another life, we could’ve been free.

I'm back from hell(work). I live! Kidding, I'm still dead inside...Anyways, I just resigned from work so I have a lot of time in my hands again. Here's a little something:
          
          Tell me a story. A story of how an angel fell for a demon. Tell me how the angel gave up heaven and fell to live on Earth. Tell me how they fell for each other and made it work.
          
          Tell me how the angel's wings, once radiant, dimmed with each touch of the demon's flame,
          Yet they didn't mind, because the warmth of hellfire felt like home in ways heaven never could.
          Tell me how the demon’s claws softened, blunt against the angel’s skin,
          How they learned to hold gently, for the first time, afraid to shatter something so pure.
          
          How they found balance in the chaos,
          The angel offering light in the darkest corners,
          And the demon whispering truths hidden behind every false paradise.
          
          Tell me how they danced between the stars and the abyss,
          Creating their own kind of heaven, their own kind of peace,
          Even when the world said it couldn’t be, shouldn’t be.
          
          Tell me how the angel learned to love the shadows,
          And the demon found hope in the light.
          How they became a story untold, a myth rewritten,
          Two opposites, not at war, but in love with the contrast.

Your touch was an invader, your words and intent deceiving.
          
          Now the memory I am bearing, my heart is repeatedly bleeding. 
          
          I cannot escape this disgusting feeling, no matter how I try cleaning.
          
          Rubbing or scrubbing, my skin turns red and the memory still remains.
  
          
  
          Your foul and lustful betrayal of my trust, I wish I could break free and erase the past.
          
          I don't even know which I should choose:
          To disappear or for you to disappear.

Ever wish you could just turn back time to change that one thing that made your life change it's course? That one decision, person or event that just ruined everything you've ever built and worked hard for... 

I think I'm done for now. I don't know when I'll be updating again but I'm going through some stuff so for now I'm going on a hiatus. Bye bye for now... 

Hi! So I don't know if you know or not but I'm doing a little poetry project where I take 15 words from people and write them into a poem of sorts. Would you be interested?
          
          Can you give me 15 completely random words from the top of your head (like rapid fire without thinking too much on it)? I'll be sure to build something out of it and credit you for the input.