"Before The Wound"
I have always been the one
who learns the art of leaving early
the quiet departure,
the practiced disappearance
before affection has the chance
to grow sharp enough to wound.
And perhaps I should do it again.
Perhaps I should fade from your horizon
before you ever discover
how easily you could hurt me.
Because you could.
Of that I have no doubt.
And the more dangerous truth is this:
I know myself well enough to admit
that I would endure it.
You could drive a blade through my chest
and I would still find the breath
to apologise for the blood
spilled across your hands.
I cannot allow that again.
I have lived that story once already,
and it nearly emptied me.
So I will be the one who leaves.
I will loosen my grip on you
before it tightens into something
I cannot survive losing.
I will let you remain
among the many who belong to you,
while I retreat quietly
from the edges of your life.
Even if the act of doing so
splits something fragile inside me.
Because some hearts,
once they recognise their own devotion,
must learn the difficult grace
of walking away
before love becomes
the instrument of their undoing.
-A
