Just started writing a new fanfic, here's an excerpt:
"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, look alive!" Onnie announced with fake enthusiasm. "I need one of y'all to go put up these signs in the spooky part of the forest!"
"Not it!" Stan and Soos shouted at the same time.
"Uh... Also not it," one of the employees said sullenly from the corner of the room, tapping away on her phone screen, paying no attention whatsoever.
"Nobody asked you, Pacifica," Onnie replied.
"What's that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of thousands of dying llamas screaming for their lives. #SaveTheLlamas," she added, pointing to her sweater with the same phrase on it.
"Ford! I need you to put up some signs in the forest!"
"Can't," the cashier, Ford, said in a monotone voice. "Busy reading on quantum physics."
"I'd fire each and every one of y'all if I could afford it," Onnie whispered grimly. "Alright! Stanley, how's about it?" he said, back to his usual chipper demeanor.
"Oh, no, absolutely not," Stan said by way of protest. "You can't send me out there, Uncle Onnie. There's something freaky going on in those woods. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out 'MURDER.'" He pulled up his right sleeve to show him. Onnie looked closer.
"I think ya might be going blind! That says 'MURDEP.' And all that 'paranormal activity' talk? That's nothin' more than fairy tales! So quit bein' so paranoid!" he said, shoving the signs into Stan's arms.