Memoirsette

It hurts. It hurts so bad. People sometimes - they just push you away no matter how close you are to them. They crush u. Like u give them everything and then it all just goes down the drain. You’re there for them. You love them. You care about them. You support them. You have their back. You are on their side and will go out of your own way to help them then they say that they don’t deserve you and that they are going away from you. And they leave and say that you can do nothing about it. Far out! Why do people do this? Why? It hurts. Dammit! I was up to 3am crying and then woke up at 6am. So the fact I’m on like 3 hrs sleep doesn’t help but damn it hurts so bad its hard not talking to someone i spoke to everyday. I thought they were healing me but they just broke me even more.
          
          Life sucks sometimes. But ya still smack on a smile and pretend everything is ok. Things are tough. 
          
          Stay strong my fallen angels,
          -Memoirsette :(

"Do you know why people cut? Because it's a distraction. For one moment you don't feel all the pain, the loss, the hurt. All you feel is the razor going into your skin, the blood dripping down your arm, leg, stomach. You don't think about how alone you are or how fat or how ugly you are. You don't think about the way people talk about you behind your back. You don't think about how your family is fighting or your friends hate you. All you think about is the blood. And the addicting part? Well that's when all the hurt and pain comes back. When the cut isn't fresh and you can only feel the buildup of of sadness and loneliness inside you. So you have to do it again, but a little bit deeper so the numbness will last longer. The pain inside you will be delayed longer. And as the pain inside gets worse and worse, you have to make the pain on the outside worse and worse. It's all about control. You have it. You can't control the pain on the inside, so you get to control the pain on the outside."
          
          Stay strong my fallen angels, 
          -Memoirsette

"Don't depend too much on anyone in this world. Even your shadow leaves when you're in darkness."
          
          Stay strong my fallen angels,
          -Memoirsette 

"I act like a happy person. But deep down, I'm not. I know people have it worse than me, but I still have troubles of my own."
          
          Stay strong my fallen angels, 
          -Memoirsette 

"Takers will use you for whatever you will give and when a better opportunity or piece of advice comes along, they will bail on you without any gratitude and go in their new direction to take from someone else. The thing to keep in mind is that takers don't think about anyone but themselves so they are not evaluating if you are good enough, they only evaluate what they want next and who can give it to them. For takers, relationships and people are disposable because they aren't relationship oriented, they are agenda oriented. "
          
          Stay strong my fallen angels, 
          -Memoirsette

"Crying is how your heart speaks,when your lips can't explain the way you feel."
          
          Stay strong my fallen angels,
          -Memoirsette

Wake up. Pretend your ok. Sleep. (Repeat.)

-"How are you?"
          "Fine..."
          (Broken, useless, alone, clueless, confused, betrayed, fragile, on the verge of tears, depressed, anxious, about to break down, ready to give up, pathetic, annoying, I'm just a burden, distant lonely, bitter, heartbroken, rejected, crushed, going to fall apart at any moment, empty, defeated, never good enough.)

"I miss the person I used to be..."
          
          Stay strong my fallen angels,
          -Memoirsette

"It's scary what a smile can hide."
          
          Stay strong my fallen angels,
          -Memoirsette