Nathan's Ashes(just call me Ash)

Please answer....

You didn't hurt her she hurt you stop doing this stop hurting yourself like this just stop! You're better than this you deserve better! So what if you can't stop loving her? People learn to live without love! What about me and your family who you leave behind?? I care! Why doesn't that mean anything to you? Is this how you felt? How she treated you? Like nothing? Like what you thought and felt didn't matter? That's what it sounded like. So stop being like her! Don't do this! You can't be gone you just can't! You can't just leave like this

Answer goddammit! There are still people who care about you! Who gives a shit what she thinks?! She shouldn't control your life! She's not worth it! If she would let you die like this she was never worth it! Answer me!

Happy early birthday Mia. Funny this is nothing like how I originally planned for your birthday. Was going to sing the song for you like I promised... give you that shirt i bought for you before... but you wouldn't care. It's okay. This is probably a better present. I'm sorry I'm so fucked up. I'm sorry i can't move on. Or maybe I'm not idk it's because i can't that I'm giving you what you wanted. I just can't do it anymore. i miss you more than anything and i just... i can't. So read this on your actual birthday to make it more special idk. I'll be gone by then. I hope my last attempt at making you happy works but... hell even if it doesnt either way it doesn't matter. It's all fucked... I'll just pretend it's a year ago and just... its better this way. i should have done this a long time ago. I'm sorry you had to put up with such shit like me. I love you. You may not believe it but i do. It's all I've got left. So congratulations. You win. Like you always do. Happy birthday.

@DesecratedMemories everything just hurts amd here I'm struggling to put a single bite of food in my mouth... I really am pathetic... well I gtg. Do whatever you want it's not like I can stop you or anyone else

@DesecratedMemories if you actually managed to get her to care enough to tell me not to maybe I would listen. But you can't. No one can make her care again. She probably hates me and idek know why...

Well good you need to eat.. but this won't be the last time you hear from me. Don't do anything stupid please. If I could I would have her tell you herself. Maybe you'd listen then...

I don't know... I just don't know.. look I have to go before my mom force feeds me. If you know what's good for you don't message me anymore. There's no point.

She cared.. for a while I'm sure she did...

I didn't want to lose her either but it still happened didn't it? I want it to stop hurting but it still hurts like hell doesn't it? It doesn't matter what we want. I never truly wanted anything all my life... and just this once... just this once I wanted someone who felt I couldn't live without... and I can't have her. I can't make her happy anymore. She lied amd hurt me she doesn't care. I don't know if she ever did and that just makes it worse. I'm tired of crying every single day knowing she doesn't give a damn. But to me she's all I care about. I hate this...