Henrique Oliveira silva

Wow, is been so long since I talked with you guys here, last massage was about someone I loved that passed.
          
          This one will be about hope, I got a good job, like a really good job, in a school.
          I am living alone, my relationship with my mother is healing and I am meet new people. 
          
          I am happy as fuck!!!!
          

My father died yesterday.
          
          although I am sad and crying. every time i think about him i can only think of the good things we had together. 
          Yesterday I cried with laughter when I remembered a fart he let out in a movie theater. 
          
          I found that I can handle death well. I'm still crying with sadness, but the good memories are even stronger and that's what keeps me going.
          
          I love you dad. wherever you are, be happy!
          

" my legs were shaking. With each blow with the mallet I felt my body getting weaker. But I couldn't stop, couldn't stop because I needed every day of work I could have. 
            The sun was at its highest point burning my back making me sweat. My shaved head was covered in a layer of dust. In a moment of rest I looked down only to feel a deep regret. Nausea came along with the sight of the 50 meter drop that led to the hard ground, nothing would survive the fall. 
            But even with the nausea the fall was inviting. Imagine being free. even if it was free falling. 
            I remembered every day spent studying in a lab, every hour reviewing books and taking classes, every second of the past thirty years spent looking for a job. I remembered every humiliation, in interviews where they looked at the beautiful blonde with the blue eye and ignored the brown in the corner. On the street where people held their bags close to their bodies, In stores where I immediately got a best friend dressed in black uniform, In the fucking college where every internship request was turned down cause of "academic values"
          
          I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and followed the entire process.
          
          One step
          
          Floor
          
          Another one
          
          Floor
          
          a third
          
          Nothing
          
          Wind and breeze on my face. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach. My life before my eyes. ADRENALINE AND FREEDOM.
          
          
          A dry crash on concrete 
          
          Nothing...
          
          
            I slowly opened my eyes. The golden sun was already sinking and hiding behind the other buildings. I had fallen asleep and my colleagues left me in a safe corner. So it wouldn't fall.
            I smiled, even in the midst of the most desperate abyss where the fall was like sweet nectar. There were those who wouldn't let me down. 
          
          Good friends...
          
          
          
          

I am healed in the name of Jesus!!!
          
          And also in name of the doctor who took care of my ass when I was coughing my lungs out and also the drugs to control the symptoms. 
          
          BUT MAINLY JESUS ​​!!!
          
          But seriously. I'm already 100% 
          Love you all
          

my voice sounds like Bane and Yoda had a threesome with Darth Vader.
          
          MY THROAT HURTS. at least i have fresh honeycombs

guess who just got the plague of the decade?
          MEEEEEEE.
          
          * Holds a virus shapped Trophy *
          
          I want to thank everyone who believed in me. I would like to thank everyone who believed.
          And the most special, I would like to thank the Brazilian government, for the excellent prevention work.
          
          FUCK YOU WITH A FUCKING ANCHOR!!!

I need to share an event of today.
          
          today I went to paint a house that my mother owns. I was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with some holes in it Because I didn’t want to stain a good t-shirt with ink.
          After finishing the painting, there were some items that I had to take home.
          The items consisted of two brooms, a bag with a chocolate Brand logo Full of rusty nails, a transparent bag full of eggs and a gallon of Bleach.
          I was walking down the street talking to my cousin via my wireless earpiece. He had lost the knight piece of my Chess and he was asking if I had seen It.
          
          Now keep in mind that in Brazil we call the piece Knight, "horse"
          
          You received the whole context of what happened.
          
          But here's the catch. The people who saw me passing by didn't know what was going on.
          
          What they saw was a paint-dirty nutty with a shirt riddled holes, Holding two brooms, a gallon of Bleach, a bag full of eggs and a bag full of rusty nails that occasionally fall out through a small hole.
          YELLING, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, TALKING TO ANYONE. SAYING
          
          "I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HORSE IS, FIND THE HORSE, WHERE IS MY HORSE SAMUEL?!!!!"
          
          So yeah, me crazy, me want horse

I need to vent 
          
          today I bursted into tears in the middle of my living room. I've been living alone for six months and I feel so lonely. I live in the country where the pandemic has peaked and is growing every day. The economy is already so fucked up that it’s impossible to find a job. I would love for someone I like to live with me, but the damn homophobia of my beautiful family, would destrói my life even more.
          
          Eu sinto como se não pudesse respirar, sinto como se o mundo estivesse pronto para me derrubar.
          
          I have been drowning these sorrows in drinks until this is already becoming a problem. And right now, I find myself drunk crying and asking God to end it all
          
          I still hold on to the rest of the hope I have left. because if I lose this ... 

I'M BAAACK
          
          THERE'S SO MUCH THING TO READ NOW 
          
          A WHOLE BOOK from SIS 

AAAAAAH ADULT LIFE!
          
          Bills mixed with college and domestic activities mixed with a job......
          
          AND A FUCKING PANDEMIC!!!!!
          
          remain children forever.
          
          I will stay away from the wattpad for a while. if anyone wants to talk to me send me a message.