Hi!
i just read ur book and i think it's really good! Some of my advice would be to-
- Try to make chapters longer
- Do some paragraphing, it can be a bit confusing if you don't.
- Check your punctuation, sometimes it can be a little bit off.
- Try not to change POV so often, it can get very confusing for the reader.
Other then that, I think ur books really good!
-Donkey & Cat ❤️