EmilyPearl

Give more details about the characters surroundings, but other than that I think ur grammar is perfect.

@MidnightPearl95  Well I think it's right to update it once in two weeks.
          Other than that it's good. U can also give point of views of one person in each chapter rather than so many in one chapter.

yes I'll read it a bit later :-) Any advise for my story I'm considering to continue it, uploading new chapters each week :-)

Hey can u read my one shot story, The spookiest hour and friendly enemies if u like??? 

Ur welcome dear. Ur story was deserving.

Cool I'll check some of your stuff out :-) Have a good day at work!

Hello dear. Welcome to wattpad.

@MidnightPearl95
          
          Thanks very much for the follow. Hope your life as a newbie here has been enjoyable so far. I saw you've been looking for reading material; if you like, check out the work in my profile. I would love to hear your opinion.
          
          Off to work now, but I'll read your story just as soon as I get back. Have a great day.