@RedAlphaWolf1 Here is my thought. Most people want stories written in prose because prose are immensive. When you read prose, you are able to visualize the story in your own mind, without being limited by the specific shots and angles that would be used in a film or television adaptation. This can lead to a more personal and engaging reading experience. It is also flexable and allows more character development. I couldn't visualize what is happening in your story, especially in large paragraphs. I suggest you shorten the paragraphs and don't use shot and location headings. Use specific details and show, don't tell. Hopefully my suggestion will help.