Mimo_Miya

@Reney242 Haha, that's okay. I am really sorry if my opinions offended you.  However, I love the whole idea of the story because I have a sister who is 5 years older than me that I would HATE to lose. Also, I hate to say this because I was the one that started talking about your age, but you should refrain from telling your age to people on social media.  You want to be a writer? Cool!   If you need anyone to support you, you may not know me but I will support you because I think that is a cool dream. 

Mimo_Miya

@Reney242 It depends on how old you are, but I think the general idea is good. However some constructive criticism: 
          - If it is a diary it is appropriate to start with "Dear Diary"
          - Have you ever written a diary? The layout and the speech (such as past tense, present tense etc) are not in a diary format. It would help if you wrote a diary or read books in a diary format. (Eg. Guessing from your story you should read something like: "My Story" series. They are a historical diary series and is a pretty quick read)