MinecraftAnyone

Y’all I need help. Like now. I just posted a chapter explaining everything. I don’t often get freaked out. I don’t understand what is going on.

“The Water’s End”
          Within the large meadows, the wind blows.
          The scene is so breathtaking, it seems like time slows.
          The water softly trickles by the hills end, 
          The deer, drinking water quietly by the river's bend.
          Flames dance from the sun, bright overhead,
          yet the air is cool, somewhere where all can tread.
          Though this picture is no longer real. 
          All it is now is a picture, one I can barely feel.
          i wish this was life, where things live happily ever after,
          But the devil seems like he looks down with his evil laughter.
          this might be life to some, but sadly not I.
          And this life is too much for me to buy.
          i am stuck, in flames and hate,
          all in my head and I can only hope and wait.
          There is this pressure i cannot explain nor shake,
          like a decision I want to make but cannot take.
          Like peace, and no more worry, no more pain, 
          but i fear i am too little for that much to gain.
          I have talked to death and got to know him.
          He wonders when I can go with him, but I say “no”, knowing my time is grim.
          I say no, not yet, but maybe in time,
          And he smiles, and says in rhyme, 
          “Do not worry my dear, i know how much to wait,
          I will be with you soon at Heaven’s gate.”
          So he left, saying a farewell, and I waved him goodbye, knowing this wasn't ending.
          My mind is getting worse, everyday it seems like it is bending.
          When will this be over, with this depression and all,
          But eventually, I will need to fall.
          Yes. I might leave, but it happens to everyone.
          But I will wait till my time is up to none.
          Yet sadly, this isn't my time to go, 
          But I will continue to say I am fine, like many of you know.

I feel the depression getting worse.
          When will this hellhole in my mind end?
          When can i actually fully feel like myself again?
          When can i let go of these masks and actually be my person?
          Can i anymore?

School starts in just two days. I don’t know my set schedule, I don’t know some of my teachers and I don’t know if I am ready. Does anyone else feel this?

How are you?

Posted my Vent book again just in case I need it again. Yipee….

Question. Why should I bother to live when death is inevitable? Why go through all this extra stress and pain and suffering just to end up like my ancestors did, just like I are meant to? We rise from this ground and we die in the ground in the end. Why should I even stay just knowing how much trouble life is? 
          
          Anyways, how are you all doing? Just by the questions alone I think you can see how I am doing.

Hey everyone!! I am back from Church Camp! It seemed like it went by so quickly! I brought home some new friends that I am taking care of now, and a bunch of new memories were made.
          
          But how in God’s green earth did I come back to 500 notifications? What are y’all posting so much.. TvT

Alright Moondrops! I will be gone for a week for a church camp, so I will see you all later! 
          Don’t die, eat, drink, sleep and take care of yourselves!!
          And as always, commit arson. >:]
          
          But with all seriousness, I hope you guys have an amazing week. And if anyone wants to spam my MB I will not be opposed lol. It would be a fun thing to read through when I get back!
          
          Anyways, see you Moondrops later!

I truly do not like at ALL the social feed in the newest update on here. 
          If any others do not like it, sign the petition!
          We took down teenfic, so we can get rid of the social feed!
          https://c.org/HcGS56FqBg
          I also want to apologize for what showed up with me. I have been recently interested in the Freak Circus, and I clicked a book that made people unfollow. I understand it was not a lot of people, but it hurt to know that it was my fault most likely. I wanted to check out a book of it (and sadly yes, it was a 18+ book), and it most likely popped up on the social feed. I am sorry, and this is another reason I hate the social feed.