MinionCrazed

I'm struggling. So fucking bad. No matter how much I scream of how much of a rut i am in, no one hears. I've talked about it to them so many times. FUCK. I relapsed. I'm in a hote. 

Man. Oh man. I have never been happier to see you 

I can’t escape the fog. It’s been here for months. Now I’m lost in it, now it’s home. 

I don’t wanna feel. 
          I don’t wanna cry.
          I just wanna die.

I can’t complain about my job honestly. I work with great people. 99.9% of the customers are amazing and kind. It’s good to hear I carry myself well, honestly it is. It is a confidence booster. But sometimes I just wanna be recognized for my age. 

I don’t care what it takes. I will be the father I never had. My kids will never have to wonder what they did wrong. They will never sit and wonder where I’m at. If I’m thinking about them. They WONT have the heartbreak I had. 

Something isn’t right.. somethings off.. I can’t blame this feeling on what happened earlier.. but I can’t figure it out.. I don’t want to get up but it’s eating at me.. 

The way I hugged you when I saw you.. heading home I asked myself why don’t I hug you like that anymore? Hearing your giggle did the same as it always does to me. Putting you down, that smile froze time. It was good for me. I needed it and didn’t even realize it. 

Almost all my shit is packed anyway 

You ain’t seeing none of my check and I promise you that ‍♀️