Trail is really good so far. You need to put some punctuation in your story, and your grammar/spelling needs a little work. Try to make it longer and put it as much detail as possible. But don't put in detail like 'I went to the store. I got milk. I drove back home. My mom was waiting for me.' (Example) Instead you could do like 'After I left school, I ran by the grocery store and headed home where my mom waited with a concerned expression on her face.' I call them short-stop sentences and you need to put in as little as possible. But Trail is a really good idea and I think it can go really far. Just don't go into the climax too fast and you get to the end of the story by Chapter 7 or something. Pace it out.
